I’ve been wanting to do it for a while, but I really wanted to add goat cheese. Goat cheese, though, can be expensive; especially in an experimental dish where it might end up decorating the inside of a trash can, rather than the inside of me.
But, once again, Trader Joe’s came to my rescue with a nice little nubbin of chevre, for only three bucks. The same amount sells at Whole Foods for $8. Joe has a larger piece with vanilla and covered in blueberries that I’m dying to try, but since Petey dislikes goat cheese, and The Kid can’t abide blueberries, I’d be on my own to eat it—and I’m afraid I would, in one gluttonous, glorious sitting.
The “it” I’ve been wanting to make is a bowl of savory oatmeal.
I just read in Food Network magazine that in 2017 babka (a Jewish marbled, sweet yeast bread), and churros will be big this year (I’ve loved churros since a trip to Los Angeles’ Olvera Street in the 70’s). 
This dish is also having a moment. Savory oatmeal is big in two catagories; savory porridge and grain bowls. Both are as trendy as statement sleeves, platform shoes, and Mondrian-like graphics.
But rather than a craving for chic, my desire comes from a very old, very familiar place.
Ever since I was a little girl in pigtails and footy pajamas, I have loved oatmeal. I’ve eaten it scary, with half a stick of butter and a boatload of corn syrup. I’ve eaten it smart with a couple drops of agave and some fruit and nuts. But I’ve eaten it, and eaten it, and eaten it.
Except, never in savory form.
A note about the oats. I used Coach’s Oats, which I buy at Costco. But you could use slow cooking steel cut or regular rolled. Mine cooked in five minutes, so they’re considered ‘quick cooked’. But don’t use instant oats because there won’t be time for the broth you make to flavor the cereal.
Savory goat cheese oats
2 servings oats, uncooked
Water for oatmeal according to directions
1 teaspoon chicken base
1 teaspoon umami or tomato paste
½ teaspoon dry thyme
½ teaspoon fresh rosemary chopped finely
2/3 cup sherry
2 tablespoons onion marmalade: Cook one chopped yellow onion in a little fat until amber-colored, season with salt, pepper, and thyme. Add 1/3 cup sherry and cook until completely evaporated.
8 ounces mushrooms, sliced
Olive oil
3 tablespoons goat cheese, crumbled
2 tablespoons sunflower seeds
Big handful pea shoots
Salt and pepper
Make broth: put water in non-stick saucepan. Add chicken base, umami, thyme, rosemary, salt & pepper. Cook on low heat just until it comes to simmer. Cover, turn off, and let cool.
Heat skillet on medium-high, and add a drizzle of olive oil. Add mushrooms, season, and cook until they’re caramelized. Deglaze with 1/3 cup sherry. 
When ready to make oats, cook in broth according to directions. When finished cooking, check for seasoning, stir in onions, mushrooms, and sunflower seeds. Plate, then top with bits of goat cheese, and a big pile of pea shoots. Serves two as a side, or one as a main dish.
This recipe is just a template. You could flavor it in any manner you like. You can travel around the world in a bowl of oatmeal.
So, you may not get to Milan or Paris for shopping. But if you make these savory oats, you can be the most fashionable person in your kitchen.
Thanks for your time.
Well, normal for us (we’re the ones that put the ‘fun’ in dysfunction).
Nope.
1 head of garlic
Yield: 4 cups
But two weeks ago it was a distinct possibility. It only takes a little ice on the wrong line or tree limb and we would’ve been in the dark and the cold.
We got some chips and then headed to the deli counter. Petey chose ham, I picked corned beef, and in case The Kid came over, I bought some roast beef.
This was before I had interest or skill in cooking, so we bought copious amounts of sandwich ingredients. One of them was roast beef. And there on the outer banks, I invented a new sandwich.
On that frozen Monday I planned on a simple roast beef and horseradish mayo on sourdough. But when I opened the fridge to retrieve the mayonnaise, I spied some homemade onion marmalade. Into the mayo it went. I also seasoned it with some coffee salt I had just made (the recipe’s in Salting the Salt Away Daily Dispatch-7/6/2016).
Thanks for your time.
Every year The Kid and I get some type of expensive or hard-to-find food item for Christmas.
One day, while visiting the North Pole Costco with Mrs. Claus, the jolly, pink-cheeked couple spied split ducks, pre-cooked and vacuum-wrapped. Knowing how much The Kid and I enjoy duck, on Christmas day, we each found a duck under the tree. Each half came with a plastic pouch of orange sauce which was pretty much just sugar and orange food coloring.
As always, I made too many grits. I decided to pour them into a square vessel and spread them out as smoothly as possible—I had a kind of an idea. I also had some spinach left which was saved as well.
The plan was to cut the grits into two pieces, and grill them in a frying pan with a butter. The center would be creamy, with a browned, crusty outside. I would then warm the duck in some sort of sauce, lay it on the grits, and top the whole shebang with the reheated spinach.
The duck came on the bone, with the skin on, which was pretty flabby and anemic. This was actually good news because that meant that the fat had not rendered out. I pulled the meat off the one, and sliced the skin into strips. I laid it in a cold skillet and cooked it on medium-low until all the fat had rendered out and the skin was golden and crispy. If this had been pork skin, it would have been called cracklings.
I salted the crispy bits and gave them to Petey. That man ate every single piece.
But cooking those puppies in duck fat were astonishing. I cooked the first side covered, to make sure they were warmed through. I uncovered the skillet and flipped them. When that side was golden brown I plated.
Aside from all the being killed and eaten thing, of course.
Remember when pistachios were red?
I may have mentioned it before, but the man has a prodigious sweet tooth. He had to be the kind of toddler you’d find digging a spoon into a 5-pound bag of Domino.
2 cups sugar
The Kid has a genius trick from culinary school to clean pot and tools. Fill the pot with water, place in all the tools used (including candy thermometer) and put on burner set to medium high. By the time the water comes to a simmer, the sugar will be re-melted and wash right off.
Thanks for your time.
In the last week, I got a refund at CVS for a faulty tube of mascara, and the manufacturer sent me a gift certificate for more than I had originally spent, as well as free shipping to order directly from their website.
On average, I would say that I get the bear about 75-80% of the time. Very rarely am I completely rebuffed and rejected when I have an issue with a company or product.
What this irate woman failed to realize was that the employee in whom she was taking such joy in pummeling, was not ‘the man’. This guy had no more say in library policy than the books we were borrowing. He had no authority to waive that fee.
When I was pregnant with The Kid I walked around for nine months feeling like a sorority girl who’s drunk way too much and knows it’s only a matter of time before their body rejects the alcohol in the loudest, messiest, and most violent means possible.
I’ve had many different strains of the flu and a couple bouts of food poisoning, but I was never so sick in my entire life; before or since. I think I revisited things that I ate in kindergarten. At one point I’m pretty sure I saw a kitten and a Matchbox car come up.
2 pounds Brussels sprouts cleaned and blanched
When the rice is done, let it sit, covered and undisturbed for 20 minutes.
Uncover rice, and pour into a large bowl. Add pecans and sprouts. Gently mix together. When plating, add a handful of shoots or greens on top. Serves 6.
Thanks for your time.
2 tablespoons tomato paste
3-4 pounds of assorted colors of baby potatoes, cut in half 
Shirley Corriher. She is the intellectual godmother of Alton Brown. Shirley teaches the “why” of cooking. You can teach a monkey to cook, but knowing the “why” you do something is the true key to the kingdom.
Another hero is Christopher Kimball, founder of America’s Test Kitchen, a resource for step-by-step recipes, which if faithfully followed, will never disappoint. The secret is the exhaustive research and testing that every dish goes through. He is the man who finally got me over my fear of hot sugar and candy thermometers. Because of him I fearlessly create things like marshmallows, pecan pralines, and fudge.
Last month America’s Test Kitchen filed suit against its creator for intellectual pillaging and plundering, among other lawyer-ish things. It’s as if Quakers were hauling the guy on the oatmeal box into court.
And no one ever will. There is always more than enough for any number of unexpected guests. She might apologize for the plainness of the fare, but wouldn’t dream of turning away any one of the strays and odd balls I was constantly bringing home. To her, hell is running out of food before everyone is uncomfortably full.
She has been restaurant critic for both the Los Angeles Times, and the New York Times. She wrote her first cookbook, Mmmm…The Festiary in 1972.
In 2014, she wrote her first novel, Delicious!. It’s the story a young woman who moves to New York to write at the eponymously named magazine, which is then abruptly shuttered. It is partially autobiographical, as Reichl was editor-in-chief of Gourmet magazine when Conde Nast unexpectedly ceased operations.
When they know that they’ve done it again; they created happiness out of food. Which is what gives them their greatest happiness.
I really dislike coconut. The flavor is actually okay, especially in piña coladas made even more decadent with lots of ice cream. For me it’s a texture thing. The Kid, however, has no such exceptions. Coconut is dietary anathema. It does not pass my child’s lips in any form.
His favorite dessert has to be coconut cake, with many layers, lots of pastry cream filling and tons of 7-minute frosting. And each component jam-packed with sweet, white shreds of coconut. The man has a sweet tooth. As do I.
The Kid does though, have a big crush on shortbread. Walker’s, the brand with the red plaid boxes are a special favorite. Last year I made some for the child’s stocking. That recipe was okay, but wasn’t as rich and buttery as Walker’s.
Before baking, I cut the 9 X 13 pan of cookies into 40 pieces. There were ten on the short side and four on the long; long rectangles which are called ‘fingers’.
1 1/3 cups (2 sticks plus 6 tablespoons) butter, room temperature, plus more for pans
In the case of shortbread, less is most definitely more.
bull city mom 