Author: momsequitur

But you did, and I thank you

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It hasn’t been all rainbows and unicorns at Chez Matthews lately.

My concerns range from the planet and nation, to my home and family, and right into my own head.  So, I’ve been feeling pretty darn sorry for myself.  I’ve been having an invite-only, humdinger, Mardi Gras of a potluck pity party; only no floats and beads, and everybody brought three-bean salad.

But yesterday, with all my self-indulgent, cranky moping I was getting on my own last nerve.

Then I started thinking.

Most of the stuff I couldn’t do anything about.  It had either happened, would happen, or might never happen, and there isn’t a whole lot I can do about immutable facts.  And, I was forgetting something.Despite my worries, big and small, I’m a pretty lucky girl.  Good grief, I’m alive and walking around, and tomorrow is coming to give me another chance to screw up, or get it right—my choice.  So in honor of our national day of gratitude, I took a look at the things in my life that I appreciate.

I’m grateful that even though there is war, cruelty, and greed in the world, there are intelligent people of good will working on solutions.  Although there’s turmoil and uncertainty in our country, deep down, most people are fundamentally good, and just want their lives, and the lives of their loved ones to be happy and a little less difficult.  Given the chance, most folks will rise to the occasion and demonstrate all that is noble in humanity.

I adore the town in which I live.  It might be a little quirky, but it fits me just right, and daily I find new reasons to love and appreciate it. I’m thankful that I have a snug and cozy roof over my head.  I love my neighbors.  Some I know well, some not so much, but I know that every single one would be happy to help out in times of trouble; and numerous ones already have.

I am immensely grateful for my parents, Petey, and The Kid.  My folks never stop being a huge support to us in countless ways.  Petey has put up with me, and kept my feet firmly planted on terra firma for more than thirty years.  And no kitchen alchemist could ask for a better two-legged Guinea pig.

I can’t tell you how much I appreciate The Kid.  Our spawn has turned out to be an almost-normal, upstanding, responsible adult.  My child/cooking companion is kind, thoughtful, and a heck of a lot of fun to be around.the-kidThe following items are simple frivolous things that make me feel better when I have trouble remembering all the big things for which I’m thankful.

I am filled with gratitude for Kraft macaroni and cheese.  Yup, I know it’s processed, and full of sodium and sugar.  Don’t care, love it.  Add shoe peg corn, and it’s chewy.  Add broccoli, and voila, it’s healthy (hush, it’s healthy).

An especially loud shout-out to Talenti chocolate sorbetto; Endangered Species  Dark Chocolate with Caramel & Sea Salt bar; dark chocolate and pretzel Bark Thins; and my childhood friend, plain M&M’s. choco-lovePotato salad and Dewey’s birthday cake with extra frosting—‘nuff said.  They know how I feel about them.

I’m very thankful that after years of searching, I finally found the perfect pair of knee-high, gray suede boots.

And you, Gentle Reader, who literally give many of my days meaning, and make my life so much more interesting.  Thanks so very, very much for your time.Happy Thanksgiving.

Pie Redemption Challenge

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So Petey, The Kid and I went to Chapel Hill last weekend to visit Southern Season and Trader Joe’s.When dinner time rolled around, we decided to eat at K&W Cafeteria.  We all enjoy cafeteria eating.  It’s usually pretty cheap for a tray heavy with Southern food.  Each person can get whatever they want—three helpings of carrots and a piece of garlic bread?  Go for it.  Spaghetti, chicken livers and ham on one plate?  Enjoy!  Feel like gravy on your fries, or jello on your cabbage?  Just ask.

The Kid had their chicken tenders, which are pretty good; crispy and juicy, if sometimes a touch greasy.  I normally get the country style steak, but instead had the meatloaf, which was moist and tasty.  Petey had the comedy item; hoki fish, which sounds like something crafted into the shape of fish from tofu, but was really fish.

I threw caloric caution to the wind and picked both bread (a biscuit; not bad), and dessert.I chose a slice of light looking, fluffy chiffon pie.  The signs under it indicated it was either lemon or lime.  But either way I was looking forward to an airy, citrus-flavored treat at the end of my meal.

Only.

Only it was orange.  But that was ok–I like orange just fine.  The problem was, it was extraordinarily sweet and artificial tasting.  After the entire Matthews Family Band tasted it, the consensus was that too much boxed jello had been used to make it.  Because not only was it cloyingly saccharine, the texture of the pie was similar to that insulation that is blown onto the wall with a gun, then expands and hardens.

Room for dessert?  We’ve got pie!

It was gummy, stiff, and thoroughly unpleasant.

 

The Kid and I discussed the pie on the ride home, and I decided to come up with my own version.  This pie would be made with fresh ingredients.  It would not be too sweet, or have a weird, creepy texture.  And because it was my pie, I wouldn’t go the traditional route of straight lemon, lime, or orange.  I was going rogue.

I thought maybe I’d do a lemon-orange combo, but at Earth Fare they had Meyer lemons.  Myer lemons are sweeter than regular lemons, and have a beautiful orangey-yellow color.  But they’re expensive and can be hard to find.meyerThen I thought about blood oranges.  They have deep scarlet flesh, and a berry component to the taste.  But they don’t show up in stores for another month or so.

Then I thought about bergamot.

Bergamot orange is a Mediterranean citrus fruit.  Like the Asian yuzu, it’s not really eaten in fruit form much, but used for its ability to flavor food and drink.

You may already know, gentle reader, the most common item in which bergamot is used.  It’s Earl Grey tea.  Earl Grey’s a combination of black tea, and oil of bergamot.

Earl Grey Chiffon Pie   

Ingredientsearl-gray1 envelope unflavored gelatin

¾ cup sugar

¾ teaspoon salt

½ cup milk

3 egg yolks, lightly beaten

¾ cup strong Earl Grey tea, made with 2-3 tea bags and cooled

¼ cup lemon juice

1 ½ teaspoons grated lemon zest

1 cup heavy whipping cream, whipped to soft peaks

1 9-inch pie shell or 1-11 inch tart shell, either homemade or store bought, baked and cooled

Directions

In a saucepan, combine the gelatin, sugar and salt. Add milk and egg yolks. Cook, whisking constantly over medium-low heat just until mixture comes to boil and gelatin’s dissolved. Remove from the heat; whisk in tea, juice, and zest. Chill until partially set.Very gently, fold in whipped cream and chill just until mixture is cool, and starts to hold its shape. Artfully mound into pie shell; chill thoroughly (3-4 hours).  Makes 6-8 servings.

While this pie would be epic on a hot summer day, I think it would also be a welcome, lighter dessert alternative to a holiday meal.  Plus, whoever heard of Earl Grey pie?  You’ll definitely get points for originality.

But if you sub out the tea and juice for other components, the recipe contains the procedure to make any type of chiffon pie.  Even (Horrors!), pumpkin spice.Thanks for your time.

J-E-L-L-No

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What was the deal with the fascination of jellies and aspic?No, really, this is not a rhetorical question, I sincerely want to know.  Why?  What on earth drove our forebears to dump things like sauerkraut, or hard boiled eggs, or animal organs into meat-based jello?

Was it a practical joke?  A suicide attempt?  Was it merely the fact that since they could do something, they did something, like a mad scientist creating a human/Twinkie chimera?

As bizarre as the trends in the 50s and 60s were, those folks only had to open a box of gelatin, make a big bowl of crime against nature, and chunk it in the fridge. But jellies (sweet) and aspics (savory) have been eaten since 1682.  And commercial boxed gelatin has only been around since 1842.  So for the first 160 years, hours of cooking down animal bones and hooves was the only way to get it.  You had to be profoundly motivated to do that; but people did it—a lot.

Why would they do that?  Have you ever looked at some of those jiggling mounds of horror?  It’s enough to give you nightmares.

My father is the least picky eater in the history of eating.  Not only was he raised in the “shut up and clean your plate” era, he was in the military.  If he was running late for work, he’d drink two or three raw eggs.  As children we joked that he was a human garbage disposal.This man, when asked about aspic dishes, said, “No, they’re not my thing.”

But.

Please don’t misunderstand.  There is very definitely a place for gelatin in the kitchen.

Collagen is connective tissue in long-cooking cuts of meat like pork shoulder and beef shank.  It’s basically gelatin.  When cooked down slowly, it melts and imparts to the food that unctuous, lip-smacking property which makes eating ribs and barbecues such a joyous experience.

I’ve seen recipes where unflavored gelatin is added to quick soups and stews, to mimic that mouth-feel.  It’s actually a brilliant tip.And fruit-flavored jello is great.  Whether it’s strawberry/pretzel pizza, a bowl of black cherry, or a baggy full of Knox blocks tucked inside a lunch box, sweet, crayon-colored jello is awesome.

Every year, my mom makes a special dessert for Christmas dinner.  And jello has a starring role.

Mom’s Christmas Cake

jello-cake1 box white cake mix, made according to directions in two 8 or 9 inch round cake pans

1 small box strawberry jello

1 small box lime jello

1 large tub Cool Whip, thawed

Red and green sugar

After cakes are baked, let them completely cool in the pans.

When cool, mix jello with boiling water according to directions.  Poke each cake with large fork at ½-inch intervals.  Slowly pour hot jello over cakes, one red, and one green.

Refrigerate cakes for three hours to completely set.

To unmold cakes, dip pan bottoms in hot water for 10-15 seconds, being careful to not get cakes wet.

Put one cake on serving platter and frost its top with generous dollop of Cool Whip.  Top with other cake, then frost the entire cake.  Sprinkle on colored sugar and refrigerate until service.  Keep cold so slicing and serving are easier.Serves 6-8.  

Mom likes this cake so much that some years she uses blueberry and strawberry jello, and makes it for Independence Day.

I appreciate, gentle Reader, your patience with my aspic rantings.

But as cathartic as it was to vent, I still don’t know why would people eat that stuff?  Really, why?Thanks for your time.

Keep Calm and Beauty On

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Welcome to my spa!

We offer treatments from around the globe and the mists of time.  Step away from the stress of the real world, and slip into pure tranquility.  After media and popular culture make you feel tired, old, and/or unattractive, bring us the deed to your home, and a shiny new credit card, and we will make you look rested and average.

Here are just a few of the services we offer:

Have a smile like the Sumatran women in the Mentawai tribe.  We will chisel each of your teeth to pointy perfection. This treatment uses no anesthetic and dirty tools, because what’s a little risk of infection and blood loss when beauty is your goal?Feeling a little clodhopper-y?  We offer the authentic 1000-year-old practice of Chinese foot binding.  In a series of slightly uncomfortable treatments, we fold the front half of your feet over and secure them with wet bandages.  After only months of treatment, you will have achieved delicate lotus feet that will fit in tea cups.  *Uncomfortable is a subjective term.  Your pain level may vary.

Are you unhappy with your complexion?  We offer a 15 minute Bangkok face-slapping/pinching treatment that will tighten pores and increase circulation, all for the low, low price of $350.  Don’t risk getting slapped by amateurs, give us a visit.Don’t hang around bee hives for the do-it-yourself version.  Come see us for bee venom therapy.  We offer either a cream infused with venom, or you can use our experienced, professional bees who sting like they know what they’re doing.

Embarrassed by an unsightly mustache?  Take it off the Elizabethan way!  We use a potent mix of quicklime and arsenic.  No hair will ever dare darken your upper lip again. Especially effective when used in conjunction with…Our lead-mercury based foundation.  If you desire cadaver-like pallor or the silvery sheen of an android, this compound is for you.  For the facial flip-side, we also offer the 19th century alternative of ingesting arsenic for the ruddy glow of health.

Trying to keep off the pounds this holiday season?  We offer the no-fail diet successfully employed by opera diva Maria Callas.    Swallow a small handful of tapeworm eggs and buy a belt.  While producing millions of offspring and growing up to twenty feet in length, they will consume your food from the inside.Do you love animals?  We employ more than bees.  For softer, clear skin, we release fifty snails to slither their slimy way over your face.  Or snakes will dance over your body for a massage you’ll never forget.  *Non-venomous snakes can be used for a small additional fee

Once you’re relaxed from the massage, we use the trendy Chinese treatment of releasing toxins and depilating with flaming cloths laid over your body until our professional attendant judges the time is right to put you out.

We offer soaks and baths of beer, chocolate, or caviar.  You can sit in dinner, drinks and dessert.I don’t really own a spa, but all of the above are actual treatments, some of which are from as far back as ancient Egypt, and some can be booked at spas around the world today.

As for my own beauty advice, I have this: eat healthfully, wear sunscreen, work up a sweat a couple times a week, and treat everyone you meet with kindness and respect.

Except for that guy who wants to smack you around for $350.  Him, you can point at and laugh.Thanks for your time.

Local Dishing

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Lisa Prince works for the state department of Agriculture.  For the past ten years, she’s done a weekly cooking segment for WRAL; Local Dish.  She also has two shows on PBS; Flavor NC, which started in 2011, and the newly debuted From The Vineyard.

Although she was very familiar with the procedure and format of Local Dish, shooting a full television show was unfamiliar territory.  There’s a shot called a “stand up”, where the talent (that would be Lisa) speaks directly to the camera.  She told me about her first time.When they got ready to do the shot, Lisa stood still and silent waiting for the cue card boy.  Large, in-studio productions have many on staff, including those handy cue card boys.  Pilots of regional PBS shows shot on location though, not so much.

The director waited, and then asked, “Did you not know you had to memorize this?”

Lisa said, “No.  But I do now.  Give me ten minutes.”  She walked around while feverishly memorizing.  But ten minutes later she did her first stand up, and five years later she’s still traveling the state, and entertaining food curious North Carolinians.Last week we met for a food chat at La Farm, in Cary.  She recruited me to judge some food contests at the State Fair, but we’ve never had a chance to sit and talk.

Lisa was born and raised in Fuquay-Varina.  She’s known her husband since preschool.  But they didn’t start dating until high school.  They have a nineteen-year-old son, currently at NCSU.

I asked her about her favorite restaurant.  Here’s her answer, in her own words.

“The Angus Barn for the restaurant I have enjoyed going to since I was a little girl. The big red barn on the hill where the service is so amazing and special occasions are celebrated.But for a favorite that is closer to home: that would be Little Hen in Holly Springs. They are a locally sourced farm to table restaurant. The menu changes seasonally and is always filled with delicious surprises. My husband and I love going there often.”

I asked Lisa the menu for her birthday dinners; it was some type of beef, and a variety of vegetables from the State Farmers Market.

But always, always on the menu would be lace cornbread.  Here’s her family recipe.

Betsy’s Lace Cornbreadlace-cornbread1 cup House Autry White Self-Rising Corn Meal Mix

2 cups water

3/4 cup canola oil

In a 10 inch skillet or pan, heat oil on medium setting.  Mix cornmeal mix and water together, stirring well.  The mixture will be thin.  Drop in heated oil by the Tablespoon.  Cook about two minutes on one side and then turn over until golden.  Place on a paper towel to drain.  Serve warm with butter.  Makes approximately 24 to 30 piecesPersonal note from Lisa:  This cornbread recipe has been in my family for generations.  My grandmother (Mama) could fry up the best lace cornbread and my parents have mastered it pretty well.  Now, I’m the next generation and I have finally gotten it down.  This does take some practice and patience but it is worth it.  It took me 3 batches before I got it right!

When you see somebody on TV, you never know who they really are.

But with Lisa Prince what you see is what you get.  She’s smart, funny, and enthusiastic about all things grown and eaten in NC.  And she’s very kind and very generous to a nosy but grateful food writer.Thanks for your time.

Coffee and Dish

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Have you ever watched WRAL’s noon news on Fridays?Every week they have a short cooking segment that focuses on NC products.  It’s hosted by Bran Shrader, a wide-eyed, fresh-faced reporter who looks like the mischievous kid that might TP the vice principal’s house on Friday night, but show up bright and early on Saturday to help clean it up.

His culinary cohort is Lisa Prince, a member of the NC Agriculture Department who acts as guide to all things Tarheel food.  Her knowledge is bolstered by an infectious enthusiasm that makes you want to run right into the kitchen and get to work.Lisa also hosts the PBS show, Flavor NC, and a new show celebrating the grape called From The Vineyard.  Lisa travels around the state, talking to farmers, chefs, and other diverse folks who have a love for, and connection with feeding North Carolina.

WRAL takes recipe submissions from viewers to make on air.  A couple years ago I sent in a recipe and months later Lisa contacted me to let me know it would be made on the show.  During our email exchange I told her that I wrote food columns for the Herald Sun.  She asked me if I might be interested in judging specialty food contests at the State Fair, which she coordinated.She had me at food.

At this year’s fair (my second as a judge) I asked Lisa if she would be willing to have a food chat after the all the state fair business was concluded.   Last week we met at La Farm; a carb lover’s paradise, for coffee and a food chat.

I started by asking about her TV appearances.

Local Dish, her cooking segment on WRAL, is celebrating its 10th anniversary.  It started as a one-off holiday episode.  It was so popular they eventually decided to air it every Friday.

There’s no glam squad and no crew to prep the ingredients.  Lisa does her own hair and makeup, and she and her sister do all chopping and measuring themselves.  They shoot each episode in her sister’s kitchen, which means familiarity and a working pantry that can supply any missing items.Five years ago a new program was born on PBS, when Lisa was approached to do Flavor NC, an edible travelogue which talks to North Carolina food folk from one end of the state to the other.  Now there’s a new show, From The Vineyard.

I asked for a recipe and she offered this cornbread recipe that is a favorite of her WRAL partner, Brian Shrader.  Here it is, in her words and with her notes.

Pimento Cheese Cornbread

–A friend shared this recipe with me who got it from Kathy Moore. She had this cornbread recipe and decided one day to make cornbread cupcakes. Then she decided to “ice” them with some pimento cheese she had made. A new dish was born!pimento-cheese-cornbred2 boxes Jiffy cornbread mix

1 cup sour cream

1 cup cottage cheese

1 stick (8 TBSP.) butter, melted

4 eggs

1 large can corn, drained (optional)

1 cup sharp cheddar cheese, grated

Salt and pepper to taste

Mix all ingredients together and pour into a greased 9 x 13 pan. Bake at 400 degrees for 35 to 40 minutes, until golden. When out of the oven, top with pimento cheese.

*Lisa’s Notes: Be generous with the pimento cheese.  It’s the best part.  Use a good quality pimento cheese if you aren’t making it from scratch.  I also like to use jalapeno pimento cheese for a little extra flavor.   This is a great side dish with chili.**Debbie here-the amount of pimento cheese is not specified, but Lisa said ‘generous’ so I would start with 16 ounces and go from there.

Lisa Prince is one more person that I have been lucky to get to know because of this gig.  And just like almost every other food-related acquaintance I’ve made, she is insanely generous and lots of fun to be around.

It’s not just one Thursday in November.  Writing this column, meeting the folks, and eating all the amazing food; for me it means that every day is Thanksgiving.Thanks for your time (and I really mean it).

Bread’s Greatest Hits

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My grandmother was a straight-up, bona fide, character.Her name was Geraldine.  She looked (and acted) like an Old Testament prophetess.  She was very tall, thin, and wore her iron-gray, waist length hair in a very tight bun during the day and in a long, ropey braid when she went to bed.

Granny was tough and blunt.  She had plenty of rules and expected everyone to fall in line.  My dad always said his mother was a “test pilot at the broom factory”.

You know, she actually did bear a resemblance to Margeret Hamilton…

She married my grandfather in October of 1929.  Somehow, she fed and clothed her growing family during the greatest economic crisis this country has ever known.

She was enormously frugal and wasted nothing.  She made her own intense, delicious grape juice.  She canned, pickled and repurposed.  She still managed to produce dessert almost every night.One of my favorites was a jello-based dish.  She used the black walnuts that grew in her yard.  Dad loves them, but I find them as bitter and dark as a Dickens spinster.  In this recipe, I subbed in pecans.

Granny’s black cherry dessertjello-dessert

1-6 ounce box black cherry jello

3 cups boiling water

1 cup ice

14 ounces cream cheese

1 ½ cups large pecan pieces, toasted

Prepare your cream cheese: cut into ½-inch cubes using unflavored dental floss.  Place in refrigerator to get very cold. 

In a large bowl, mix jello, water, and ice.  Stir in pecans.  When the jello’s room temp, fold in cream cheese, keeping individual cubes intact.  Pour into 9X13 dish, refrigerate, and allow to set completely (around 4 hours).

Serves 8-10.

I think Granny went to Sunday school with General Washington.  My father’s middle name is George.

Granny also made her own potato bread.  When we visited, she would cut thick slices, toast them, and slather on butter and/or jelly.  It made the best gosh-darn toast you ever tasted.

A couple weeks ago I tried a new bread from La Farm, in Cary.  It’s Carolina Gold rice sourdough. rice-bread-1It’s very moist and tasty.  But the best part is, it makes the best toast since I sat at Granny’s table and ate my weight in hers.  I discovered it October 10th, and am on my second loaf, with plans to get more next week.  That doesn’t sound remarkable until you know that the loaves are huge, and I’ve been the only one eating it.

And this brings me to my main point.

Life is too short to eat dreadful, sub-par bread.  I’m talking about you, Wonder and Sunbeam. We live in an area rich with great bakeries, so there’s no excuse.

Here are a few of my favorites and where to get them, plus a tip to make frozen and day-old bread bakery fresh all over again.

Lots of places sell baguettes, but Earth Fare sells crusty-on-the-outside with pillow-y soft interiors for 98 cents—every day.

Costco bakes square rolls that are kind of like ciabatta.  Sandwiches on them are delicious, but they’re awesome just eaten with cold salted butter.

The Co-op has a seven-grain that is really delicious.  It makes a grilled cheese that even my white-bread-loving Petey enjoys.bakeriesNinth St bakery has quite a few lovely loaves.  A couple of my favorites are Sourdough French and sunflower.  They also have a whole grain that’s quite good.

Whole Foods, Scratch and Loaf all have diverse and delicious bread.

I leave you with a couple carb hints.

When you freeze bread, it stops the clock on staleness and mold.  If it’s toast you’re after, just toss slices, still frozen, into the toaster.  You may have to turn it up to get enough color for your taste.

If it’s rolls or loaves, leave frozen until oven heats to 350.  When it’s at temp, run each piece under water and place directly on the rack.  Then throw about ¼ cup water into the oven as well (the steam keeps the crust crispy and the insides cloud-like soft).  Bake for 13 minutes then take it out and place on cooling rack so it doesn’t get a soggy bottom (soggy bottoms are the worst).

Good as new—I promise.  There are so many things in life that you’ll probably regret.  For the love of guacamole, don’t let bread be one of them.

Thanks for your time.

Spare Change

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Regardless whether it’s a pound of ground round, a set of steel-belted radials, or a delicious pair of thigh-high periwinkle suede boots, I have an iron-clad philosophy about shopping.

My precious…

It was honed over decades as a shopper, and as an employee in retail establishments: The merchant’s goal is to make as much profit as possible, while the consumer’s is to spend the least amount while procuring what you need (hamburger and tires), and what you want (delicious boots).

That means using any legal means to reduce the final tally at the cash register.

Sales, coupons, alternate sources; they’re all fair game.

This is not an acceptable money saving method.

Most grocery stores start their new sales on Wednesday.  But many honor the previous week’s sales on Wednesday.  So, you could score two weeks’ worth in one trip.  Also, years ago, it didn’t make sense to chase all over town to shop the sales at multiple stores.  But now, when there are five or six supermarkets within a mile of each other, it doesn’t make sense not to.  BJ’s warehouse offers a magazine containing their own coupons plus, they accept manufactures coupon.

So study the circulars.  Then make your list and shop accordingly.

Coupons are great–IF.If the item is something you will use.  Many times I buy store brand merchandise, so it would be more expensive to buy the name-brand, even with a coupon.  Lowes and Harris Teeter double coupons.  Kroger doesn’t, but they frequently mail coupons to customers, tailored to each individual’s buying history.  And even though there’s an expiration date on them, Kroger honors them no matter what the date says.

Don’t be too fancy to shop at Big Lots and dollar stores.  Just keep in mind how much items run at the supermarket, because occasionally they can be pricier.  But many canned goods are cheaper, as well as egg noodles, cake mix, bread, eggs and frozen items.  Also when you’re near a Home Goods, TJ Maxx, or Ross’s, take a peek at the food they stock.  Expensive specialty products can often be insanely cheap.

And lastly, mark downs in the store.  Back near the dairy section, Lowes has a couple carts and shelves with items that are usually 50% off.  They are normally ‘scratch and dent’ items.

But it’s the meat department where you can really shine.Every time I’m in any grocery store, I walk through the meat department and look for sales.  This is meat that is good, but only has a couple more days ’til the sell by date.  As long as you either freeze it or cook it the day you bring it home, you’ll have no trouble. Yesterday I got a pound of flat iron steak for $3.00, down from $8.15.  But the best deal ever was a four-pack of turkey burgers for $2.27.

At home, I seasoned them, then dusted with a combination of white-wheat and rye flours, to seal in juices and jack up flavor.  I cooked them in a hot cast iron with a generous drizzle of olive oil, searing both sides.  When the internal temp was between 160 and 165, I took them off the heat.The first two became patty melts on multi-grain bread.  Tonight I made a mushroom-heavy Marsala sauce and served the other two on a bed of egg noodles that I’d bought at the dollar store.

I love it when I can make a nice dinner for just a few dollars.  Then I can use my savings for something really important, like a delicious pair of thigh-high periwinkle suede boots.

Of course, velvet is nice too…

Thank for your time.

It’s a Doggy Dog World (and we’re just living in it)

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2016-05-06-22-32-45The Kid has a rescue dog; a beautiful little husky (we think).  Her name is Bella, and she has eyes the color of a Luna moth’s wing.

She really is the sweetest thing, but dumb as a box of soup and a tad squirrely.  She also should switch to decaf as soon as possible.  I’ve never in my life seen a dog with more energy.  There is no off switch.

The Kid is in Chicago this week.  That means we have grand-dogger duty.  With Bella in the house, there’s never a dull moment.

You should witness my child around any dog.  There is squealing, baby talk and high-pitched cries of “Puppy!”

They’re the only thing The Kid gets squishy and sentimental over…

But the response is entirely to be expected.  Aside from time taken to mourn lost companions, we’ve had dogs almost our entire marriage.  When we brought The Kid home from the hospital, our seven-year-old chow, Harry met her outside in order to minimize any territorial instincts.

Harry was somewhat different.  The night we brought him home, our puppy hid under the bed for three days.  He was so skittish and easily startled many of our friends called him Scary Harry.  It was pretty apt—among many other things our boy was literally, no foolin’, afraid of ice cream.  Even the kind made specifically for dogs.  We think maybe his mom drank heavily while pregnant.

While this looks like Harry, it is not him.  The only photos we have of him are of his butt, as he ran away in terror.  He was afraid of cameras, too.

On my 21st birthday Petey gave me Harry.  Seven years later he had the meet & greet with our brand new baby in the driveway.

He watched over his little person, and taught that little person to love dogs, and treat them kindly.

When The Kid was in Kindergarten, we lost our Harry.  Six months went by and we decided it was time to share our lives with a four-legged again.

The doggy gods were smiling upon us the day we met Steve.OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAEven though he looked like a text book Akita, we’re pretty sure that he was a 105 pound heart, wrapped in a doggy suit.  He was the gentlest dog we’d ever had.

If there were children playing outside, and one of them screamed, regardless the reason Steve had to go outside and do what looked like a head count to make sure all of his children were safe and sound.  Once he adopted a roly poly bug.  He kept it for three days until he loved it to death.

Steve and I had a game where I would do an imitation of a dog growl.  We would slap our hands/front paws on the floor in a mock attempt to catch each other.  All the while he would be doing his best imitation of my growl.

steve-shirt

He was a goofball who indulged my every odd whim.  He’d do anything to make us smile…

The day before he died, he was so weak, but he still made his best effort to slap my hand and growl my growl.  I think he didn’t want to disappoint me.  His whole life long he never disappointed me.  It’s been ten years, but thinking about him still breaks my heart.

Dad and Riker.png

My dad and Riker.  To give you an idea of the size of our pooch; Dad is 6’4″.

Now we have Riker, who’s named for a character in Star Trek.  He’s a 200-pound Anatolian shepherd with sweet, caramel-colored eyes.  When you scratch him behind the ears, he honest-to-goodness purrs.  He is the most loving pooch we’ve ever owned

We all think, with dogs, that we’re in charge.  But if you serve someone breakfast in bed, and clean up their lawn bombs, it doesn’t matter what you think.  That dog is your boss.

And then to top it off, we go and let them use our heart as a chew toy.snuggy-buggy-riker

 

riker-and-bella

She broke him.

 

Thanks for your time.

 

Totally Nuts

/ momsequitur / Leave a comment

I’ve got a riddle for you.When is a pound cake not a pound cake?

When it’s a pound cake (I’ll explain later, I promise).

A few days ago I had my third and final session as one of the judges for the specialty cooking contests of the 2016 state fair.  I was really looking forward to it, because the category was pecans.

Uh oh; here comes the educational portion of the program…

The pecan, or Carya illinoinensis, is actually a variety of the hickory.  The trees, which can grow up to 144 feet tall, are native to Mexico, and from the Gulf coast of Texas up to Illinois.  It is one of the most recently domesticated crops.  Until the 1880’s it was solely harvested from the wild.

A pecan orchard.

And although they have been enjoyed since well before the Europeans showed up, people can still not agree on whether they are “pee-cans”, or “pick-kahns”.

But regardless the pronunciation, these nuts are absolutely delicious, and work well with both savory foods and sweets .  As much as I love pie and pralines, my favorite preparation is salt & pepper pecans; merely generously seasoned pecans sautéed in butter.

I have to ruthlessly limit my exposure though, because I can devour a pound of them while in a pecan-induced fugue state.  Then I regain consciousness into a pecan-induced shame spiral.

The contest last week, in addition to being a heck of a lot of fun, included a notable first in my role of cooking judge.  Heck, it was a first in my entire existence as a human.

frosting-collage

This is literally porn to me…

It was cake that was too sweet.  I’ve never even understood the term “too sweet” before. I’m the girl who considers frosting a food group.  I always thought it was a phrase made-up by light weights that couldn’t hold their sugar.

But the phenomenon exists.  It felt like biting into tin foil with a mouth full of fillings.  My mouth recoiled from the sensation.  It coated my tongue and made my teeth hurt.

Happily, there was another cake which wasn’t too sweet, but just right.  It took third place; a pound cake from Chapel Hill’s Cherie Michaud.

Nana and Roux’s Butter Pecan Pound Cake

Cakepecan-cake½ lb. or 2 sticks unsalted butter, room temperature

1 ½ cups granulated sugar

1 ½ tsp. vanilla extract

1 ½ Tbsp. whole milk

½ tsp. baking powder

½ tsp. salt

1 cup pecans

½ cup vegetable oil

4 eggs

2 cups flour

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Combine 2 eggs, vanilla, milk, oil and butter in mixer. Begin mixing on low to medium speed. Once blended together, add the last 2 eggs.

In another bowl, combine sugar, flour, baking powder and salt. Sift the dry ingredients into the egg/milk mixture. Mix until combined, about 30 seconds.

Place pecans into a food processor and pulse for 30 seconds. Add pecans into the cake mixture and combine for 1 minute or until everything is well blended.

Spray a Bundt pan with cooking spray and sprinkle with sugar to coat. Pour cake batter into pan and tap on counter to remove air bubbles. Bake for 50 minutes or until golden brown. Remove from oven and let cool in pan 30 minutes. Remove from pan and let cool completely.

Frostingpecan-frosting3 cups powdered sugar

½ cup unsalted butter

½ tsp. cinnamon

1 ½ tsp. vanilla extract

2 Tbsp. plus 2 tsp. whole milk

½ tsp. nutmeg

½ tsp. salt

½ cup pecans, chopped

Combine butter, milk and vanilla with a mixer. Once combined, add the powdered sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg and salt. Mix on low-medium speed for 1-2 minutes. Spread frosting over cake and top with pecans.So, about the pound cake riddle.  Traditional cakes have one pound each of flour, sugar, butter, and eggs, with no leavening (baking powder or baking soda).  It gets it rise from air whipped into the batter, and starting in a cold oven.

A modern pound cake uses leavening.  This reduces the possibility of failure, but purists feel it’s the cheater’s way, and an affront to all decent pound cakes.  Imagine Martin Luther with a Bundt pan and a manifesto.  A confectionary Luddite, if you will.                                                                              Thanks for your time.