When you’re raised with a parent in the military, you move around a lot. As a consequence, you don’t really have a hometown.
Until college, The Kid lived in the same house and had the same bedroom since birth.
By the time I’d moved out of my parents’ home when I married, I’d lived in ten different houses in five different cities.
Military brats get to choose their own hometown. It might be where we were born. Or maybe the hometown of our parents, normally visited enough to instill both history and familiarity. For some kids, it’s the place we were living when our parent retired from the military. Others choose the town where they lived the longest, or went to college, or vacationed as a child.
I chose the place I fell in love.
Or rather, I chose the place I fell in love with.
In 1986 Petey and I were living in Elizabeth City. We’d been married three years, and I had an opportunity to move to the heart of Carolina for a job promotion. I wanted to come, Duke hired my awesome husband, so we pulled up stakes and moved.
Nationally, the economy was stagnant. Locally, things were worse. A huge, historic industry was undergoing massive changes which translated into widespread plant closures and exploding unemployment.
Always more lunchbox than three martini lunch, the small city suffered mightily. Stores and homes went vacant, became boarded up, and fell into decline. Crime went up, and its reputation, already less than glamorous, plummeted.
But just because everybody from away was writing eulogies, and reading epitaphs, didn’t mean my fellow residents and I were wearing black and picking out coffins.
The heartbeat of this town is the rhythm of people from all different races, classes, religions, and philosophies. Living together, working together, and getting along together. It wasn’t all Kumbaya all the time, there were disagreements, controversies, and tragedy.But through it all, the citizens of this town kept talking. Sure, sometimes it was a shout, and sometimes it was through gritted teeth, but there was conversation. And there was laughter and tears, but they were shared, which magnified one, and minimized the other.
Then something happened.
The residents voted in leadership that was passionate about turning the little burg around. Unlike some politicians, they weren’t in it to amass power and shore up their bank accounts. Not everything they did worked, and not everything they did made all of the residents happy.
And it took time. 
But, thirty-two years after we made the move, my hometown is one of the coolest, friendliest, most diverse, and economically viable cities in the South. My quirky little metropolis has won awards and accolades from all over the world. But it still keeps that bohemian, working class, wealthy retired, soccer mom, hipster, hi-tech, low-pretension vibe that made me fall in love all those years ago.
The other night I walked out of a funky new restaurant into a bustling, revitalized downtown. The strains of a solitary saxophone floated through the streets like an incandescent ribbon. I was so proud of my hometown, I almost cried.
And of course, life means change. Right now, there is real concern that gentrification is altering the balance of the have-a-lots, and the haves-not-so-much. Real estate has skyrocketed, and both taxes and the cost of living is going up.
It’s the very definition of, “Be careful what you wish for.”
But my hometown still has the collective wisdom to choose thoughtful, compassionate leaders who understand and deeply believe that a public servant should actually serve the public.
We should all be so lucky.
Thanks for your time.
My folks just got back from Pittsburgh. Dad’s from there and they went up to visit his sisters. They drove and stayed at his big sister’s house.
Now when Petey and I go out of town, even to see friends and family, we stay at a hotel. Everybody has a happier visit.
From east to west;
When you get hungry, try Elmo’s Diner, Toast sandwiches, and Watts Grocery on Broad St. If you’re feeling indulgent, try the Cupcake Bar or The Parlor, for amazing made in-house ice cream.
Greensboro. Try the Greensboro Science Center or the Greensboro Children’s Museum. For a scary good time, take the Ghost and Vampire walking tour. Elm Street downtown has numerous cool little independent shops, including a bookstore that serves beer. There are numerous parks, including Bur-Mil with tons of attractions, including a working grain mill.
Friendly shopping center has plenty of mall-type stores and also some nifty locally owned businesses, including one of my very favorite kitchen stores, The Extra Ingredient.
Grab some eats downtown at Crafted, an artisan taco stand/burger joint. And right down the street is my newest, most delicious find; Cheesecakes by Alex. They’ve got around twenty different cheesecakes, but I beg you, try the lemon/blueberry layer cake with yummy buttercream. Two other eateries I recommend are Monterrey Mexican (try the street style carnitas tacos), and Jam’s Deli, with awesome sandwiches and one of the best restaurant potato salads I’ve ever had.
Boone/Banner Elk area. Mast General Store in Valley Crucis. You can easily spend a day here and need to come back again. At the corner of Highway 105 and Broadstone is The Ham Shoppe. These guys will put together a terrific picnic for you. Plus they have lots of local treats like cake and mountain made butter.
Blowing Rock is an adorable village that’s better experienced on foot. Tons of shops and great places to eat. Plus, there’s a Kilwyn’s with all the fudge and ice cream that implies. Their blue moon has been my very favorite since childhood.
Thanks for your time.
How to describe the scene? Well, imagine if colors, glitter, and feathers had rained from the sky, and this rain not only coated everyone, but made everybody it touched into best friends. The air was thick with love and fun. It was a grand example of the brotherhood of humanity. I felt lucky to be there.
After that stop I was starting to hanker for chocolate. Since I calculated that during my stint as water girl I’d worked off forty or fifty pounds, I headed to one of my favorite stops for sweet self-indulgences; Parker and Otis.
While I was waiting for the salad to be packaged, I wandered around their autumn and Halloween displays. Store owner Jennings Brody has curated a seasonal collection which includes everything from mallow pumpkins (my personal favorite) to very exclusive hand-crafted chocolates. If you need a dose of either sweets or fall inspiration, Parker & Otis is one of the best spots in Durham. Regardless of the temperature outside, you’ll leave with the rustle of fallen leaves in your head, and the desire for a cozy sweater to wrap around your shoulders.
So, although yesterday was an entirely new experience and one of the most fun days I’ve had in a long time, it was also a typical day in Durham.
bull city mom 