Today I bring you a story that almost didn’t make it to print. I am The Kid, the offspring of your normal columnist, and recently back from vacation in Budapest and Vienna.

As I set about planning my trip, as I chose points of interest, I slowly realized that I was creating a fairly creepy vacation. As you’ll see.

The entrance to the Murder Exhibit

On my first full day in Budapest, I visited their recently opened Murder exhibit. The point of the exhibit was to understand what makes a murderer, but in my experience, it was less successful in that, and more successful in giving guests the willies. Tableaus were set up with bedrooms of John Wayne Gacy and Elizabeth Bathory, the inside of Jeffery Dahmer’s fridge, Ed Gein’s kitchen, and more that I won’t spoil. One walks through with a headset, so they were able to take advantage of surround sound. Not for the faint of heart, but very much worth the hour or so spent for true crime fans.

Next, we’ll head to Vienna for a couple of stops.

The Narrenturm.

Vienna is only a 2-hour train ride away, so I decided to spend one of my days checking out the city. My first destination was the Narrenturm, or “Fool’s Tower”. This is one of the world’s oldest asylums and has since been turned in to Federal Pathologic-Anatomical Museum Vienna. It is similar to the Mutter Museum in Philadelphia, but all the signs are in German. I, dear reader, do not speak German. It was a heck of a time going from room to room, attempting to puzzle what each exhibit was. Some are obvious, but after a while, you start to forget what a normal lung really looks like.

The crypt of Empress Maria Thersa.

I next headed over to the Hapsburg Imperial Crypt. This is a Capuchin monastery, and current resting place of all the Hapsburg line. One member was laid to rest here as recently as 2011. I learned more about Austrian history in the hour and a half tour as I have in all the history classes I have ever taken. It was fascinating to hear all the steps taken by the members of the Hapsburg imperial family that all ended with them in the same crypt and just seeing how design choices had evolved over the hundreds of years, with the first burial taking place in 1619. I’ll say this, Maria Theresa wasn’t fooling around with her 9-ton metal sarcophagus.

The labyrinth.

Back to Budapest now, with the story of how I almost didn’t make it back home. Budapest is split into three parts, Buda, Pest, and Obuda. Buda is more of the historical district. This is where The Royal Palace is located, as well as the Labyrinth of Buda Castle. Running under Buda are tunnels and caves created mostly through natural hot springs. People would use these tunnels for smuggling, parties, and in the case of Vlad Dracula, or Vlad Tepes, a 14-year imprisonment.These days, curious tourists are welcome to tour the labyrinth, with only occasional arrow signs on the walls as guides. Not long after entering, you are greeted with a fork in the road. One side leads towards more of the dimly lit labyrinth. The other heads towards the Maze of Darkness. This section is totally unlit, and your only guide is the rope attached to the wall. By the end, the rope was my best friend. I feel like the rope really understood me.

Thankfully, I did eventually escape. Though I did pass the same snake statue about 4 times. I wonder how Snake Friend is doing. I hope he’s well.Thanks for your time.