Death by chocolate?

Have your cake, and eat it too.

Well, duh, of course if I have some cake I want to eat it.  There has never been a cake owned by me that didn’t end up eaten.  I imagine most folks are like this, as well.  No matter how worthy of admiration they may be, cake is for eating, not for decoration—unless it’s decorating my fork.

My kind of woman.

The correct phrase, which has been lost to most people over time, is actually, “Eat your cake, and have it too.”

Then it becomes a whole different idea.  The first phrase is common sense, the second is either delusional, or at least disregarding of reality and logic.

There’s another dessert based homily that rubs me the wrong way.

“Death by chocolate.”

Um, if I’m enjoying some especially wonderful chocolate, I don’t want to die.  I want to live to eat more.  Good chocolate makes me feel like everything’s going to be alright.

In fact, there are times when my ingesting chocolate has saved the lives of annoying bystanders.  I know for a fact that it has kept the divorce lawyers from our door on more than one occasion.  Sometimes a girl just needs a little something-something to deal with this often frustrating planet and its inhabitants.

Candy bars are good for a quick fix.  In fact Petey keeps a giant Hershey bar under glass with a little hammer in case of chocolate emergencies.

He hides the little hammer for some reason.

But, for classic cocoa comfort, a cake really hits the spot.  Plus, it’s always very decorative, for the short amount of time that it exists before being devoured.

My double-glazed chocolate Bundt looks like it was a lot of work, but it really isn’t because the cake part comes from a box, and the two toppings are a cinch.

Double-glazed Chocolate Bundt

1 devil’s food cake mix

Make according to directions, except substitute melted butter for the oil, add ¼ cup cocoa powder, and a bag of your choice of chocolate chips.  Bake in a Bundt pan until just cooked through, don’t overcook.

 After the cake’s been out of the oven for 15 minutes, turn it out onto a cooling rack. Poke it all over with a toothpick. 

Glaze #1

2 tbsp. cocoa

1 tbsp. plus 2 tsp. water

1 tbsp. oil

1 tbsp. cornstarch

1 c. sifted powdered sugar

Combine cocoa, water, oil and cornstarch in a saucepan; cook over low heat until smooth. Whisk in sugar.  Add more water if it’s too thick.  Slowly drizzle over entire cake.  Let cool.

Glaze #2-Chocolate fudge icing

6 tablespoons butter

4 tablespoons cocoa

3 cups powdered sugar

6 tablespoons milk

2 teaspoons vanilla

In saucepan, melt butter.  Stir in cocoa ’til dissolved.  Mix in sugar.  Pour in milk, and whisk until smooth.  Stir in vanilla.

Pour over cake, and allow to harden before serving.

After you have the first slice of this cake, you may feel as if you’ve died and gone to heaven.  But you’ll absolutely want to survive for another piece.

These crazy sayings remind me of one of my mother’s expressions, “You’d complain if you were hung with a new rope”.

You betcha.

If somebody wants to hang me I don’t care if the rope’s new, old, or woven from rainbows and unicorn wishes.   I’ll be complaining until that noose is so tight I can’t get out the words.

“C’mon you guys.  You don’t need to be hanging me!  How about we go sit and talk it out over a nice piece of chocolate cake?”

You’re welcome.

Thanks for your time.

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