Trippin’ With The Murphys’

The crazy thing is, of all the Murphy kids, younger son Chrissie was the one sibling I really disliked.  I thought he was mean, hateful, and angry at the whole world all the time. 

I recently asked Chrissie, who’s now closer than a lot of my family, what he thought of me all those years ago.

To him, I was an annoying friend of his little sister.  An interchangeable mosquito.

My feelings were very different toward oldest son, Mike.  I had a huge crush on the boy who was always sweet to me.

The patriarch of the family was Bear.  He was commander of the base in Puerto Rico where we all lived.  He was a no-nonsense military man. 

He was strict with all the kids.  But with his sons, he was tough and cut no slack.  He had very high standards and accepted no excuses.  None of the kids would ever dream of back-talking or sassing that man.

Bear’s attitude manifested in anger with Chrissie.  His defenses were always up.  Most emotion was hidden behind a mask of aggressive apathy.

Kitty was the same age as me and my best friend.  She was smart, funny, proud, and had a very full inner life that was never shared.  Her defense against the world was a comic flakiness.  Teachers and parents, and even friends had a hard time holding her accountable when it was clear that she had full knowledge of her shortcomings and they made her far more disappointed in herself than anyone else ever could be.

Min was all of these, and more.

Minnie was the oldest daughter.  I’d never before or since met anyone like her.  She was a comedian/tomboy/secret agent/big sister to the sister-less/rebel/Dr. Dolittle/business genius/magical wood sprite.  Almost fifty years later I still think about conversations and adventures we shared.

The family matriarch’s smart and sophisticated is Mama Cat.  She showers her children and their friends with warmth, affection, and humor.

Lighthouse Beach, where we often went.

 Often, Bear and Mama Cat would take us all to nearby beaches.  Michael, Minnie, Kitty, and I would bodysurf and Chrissie surfed.

Many of the older kids surfed.  Lawns were mowed, children were babysat, dogs were walked, all in the pursuit of the cash to purchase their own boards. 

One afternoon we were on our way home from the beach.  Chrissie’s surfboard was partially in the car, with about a quarter of it out the window, like an exuberant dog on a ride.

The garage was a two-car with no doors, but with a four-foot-wide supporting pillar that divided it.  Bear pulled into the driveway.

The house on the right is the Murphy’s actual home in Puerto Rico.

I saw it coming, but didn’t have time to say a word before it happened.

As Bear pulled into the garage, Chrissie’s hard-fought surfboard was still sticking out the back window.  Never noticing, never slowing, the inevitable happened.

The board hit the pillar and a huge gash was neatly excised from the board, instantly and forever rendering it useless.  Except as modern art.

Actual Modern Art.

The care went completely silent.  I was watching Chrissie.  His face was red and his jaw was clenched.  If anyone else had destroyed his board they would already be begging for the sweet release of death.

Bear, sat as a stone—immobile and unreadable.

Actually Grandfather Mountain; it’s a metaphor.

Something was coming.

We just sat there—nobody opened a door.  We were waiting for an explosion, but couldn’t tell which Murphy man would be the catalyst—Chrissie to scream at his dad, or Bear to blame and berate.

Actually part of a movie.

Finally, after what seemed like eons, there was a slight clearing of throats.  One of them would speak!

Bear, with an unfamiliar sheepish look on his face, said five words I’ll never forget.

“I’ll buy the new one.”

An actual highly embarrassed bear–not the patriarch of the Murphys’.

Thanks for your time.

Contact debbie at d@bullcity.mom.

Cookie Cat

When The Kid was away at college, my mom sent our little scholar a box of her famous frosted sugar cookies.  My generous child offered them to friends, but there were no takers—it was culinary school, and these were just boring sugar cookies from some random grandmother in North Carolina.NECI on Main, Montpelier, VermontEventually, one person had one.  Then another person, then word got out about these amazing cookies.  Long after they were nothing but a memory, chef-instructors would approach The Kid, and ask if there any cookies left.

“No?  Any idea if you might get some more?  And when they might arrive?  Lemme give you my cell number…and my home number…wait, here’s my address.  Any time at all, just gimme a yell.”

Like my own mom, another mom I know makes an epic frosted sugar cookie.  My mom’s cookies are shockingly delicious, but definitely not fancy.  Mama Cat’s are crispy, delicate, and also, shockingly delicious, but they are kind of fancy.Her son Chef Chrissie, makes them for very special dates.  He also must use them in some type business negotiations, because he calls them his “never-fail deal closers”.

If they were shoes, Mom’s would be a classic pair of Doc Martin boots; good-looking, super comfortable classics that you could wear every day, all day.  Mama Cat’s would be Christian Louboutin’s; elegant, exquisite, and for very special occasions.

As good as the cookie is, the frosting, this wonderful vanilla fudge, is almost better.  And, if you let the frosting boil for about five minutes before adding the confectioner’s sugar, it will set up much thicker, and can be placed into mini muffin papers, with a light sprinkling of jimmies. They transform into addictive little vanilla-fudge candies. The secret to these cookies is the dough and how it’s rolled.  If the dough gets warm, they won’t work, so unless you work really, really, fast, you will need to refrigerate it every so often while working with it, and before baking.  And these need to be rolled super thin—like 1/8-inch thin.  Don’t get lazy here, thinness makes a huge difference.  You want the finished product thin and crispy as a cracker.

These cookies are the perfect accompaniment for tea with the mother-in-law or to grease any particularly squeaky wheels you might have in your life.  They are chic little treats that would look appropriate at a patisserie in Paris, but also just right for eating in your pajamas while watching one of those “real” housewives shows.

Mama Cat’s Elegant Sugar Cookiesmama cat's cookies1 cup butter, softened

1 & 1/2 cups powdered sugar, sifted

1 egg

1 teaspoon vanilla

2 & 1/2 cups sifted flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

3/4 teaspoon cream of tartar

1/2 teaspoon salt

Combine all ingredients.  Split dough into two disks and refrigerate for at least one hour.  Roll cookie dough out very thin and cut into shapes. Bake on parchment lined baking sheet at 400 degrees for about six minutes.  Cool on racks until completely cool.

Makes 3-4 dozen cookies, depending on size and shape.

Vanilla Icingvanilla fudge1/2 cup butter

1 cup granulated sugar

1/4 cup milk

Heat ingredients in a saucepan until it boils.  Let it cool slightly, and mix in 1 & 3/4 -2 cups of sifted powdered sugar, a pinch of salt and 2 teaspoons vanilla.

Spread a thin layer of the warm icing on cookies and let cool and set.soft maple sugar cookiesIf you take your time, and use care, you’ll have an elegant, delicious confection to impress.  They’re great to have in your back pocket (but not literally—they’d crumble and stain your drawers).

Stained drawers.  See what I did there?

Thanks for your time.

Kitchen Remedy

There is a curse falsely attributed to an ancient Chinese sage: ‘May you live in interesting times.

It has been one heck of an interesting week at Chez Matthews.

Sunday I woke up to a water heater which had gone to the great utility room in the sky.  Tuesday we paid more than the budget of our 1983 wedding to replace it.

On Thursday while running errands, the clutch on the jeep gave up and died—in traffic.

I called The Kid for rescue, and while waiting, walked the final mile to the drug store.  In case you’ve forgotten, it was muggy, and 96.

So, Gentle Reader, when I arrived home from that ordeal: walking, waiting for a tow truck, and taking the car to the shop, I was hot, sweaty, frustrated, worried, and about as stressed as a thong on a Sumo wrestler.And, it was dinner time.

The meal I’d planned on making was both time- and labor-intensive.  I’ve been whipping this up as long as I’ve been married, and getting it ready for the oven used to take about four hours.  As my cooking skill increased, the prep time decreased, but it still took a good ninety minutes from start to stove.

The recipe was a seafood casserole I’d gotten from the matriarch of the Murphy clan, Mama Cat.

The last thing I wanted to do was to spend all that time in the kitchen chopping, and mixing, and sautéing.

Or so I thought.

When I told Petey, he said that it was fine, and he’d eat whatever I felt like making.  What I felt like was a fifth of bourbon and a gallon of dark chocolate ice cream.  And maybe a good cry in the shower.But then I really looked at Petey.  And I could tell that he’d been looking forward to Mama Cat’s dish.  It was his four-wheeled baby which broke, and he deserved some pampering.

So, after my shower, I put on some music, and got to work.

Mama Cat’s Famous Seafood Casserole

seafood cass2-6 ounce boxes original Uncle Ben’s Long Grain and Wild Rice (prepared according to directions, minus 1/2 cup water)

1 large bag frozen salad shrimp

1 white onion, chopped

1 orange bell pepper, chopped

3 stalks celery, sliced

1 pound mushrooms, cleaned and sliced.

4 cloves minced garlic

2 tablespoons butter

½ cup white wine

Sauce:

cass sauce

1 cup mayonnaise

1 cup milk

1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce

Salt & pepper

Make rice according to directions, (omitting 1/2 cup water).

While the rice is cooking, sauté all the veg except garlic, in butter on medium.  Season.  When the liquids cooked off, and vegetables are lightly caramelized, stir in garlic.  Cook 2 minutes, then pour in wine. Stir to scrape browned bits off pan. When the wine’s gone, stir together rice, shrimp, veg.

Whisk sauce together.

Put everything in a large bowl and stir until it’s all combined.

Bake at 375 for thirty minutes, covered with foil, and then thirty minutes, uncovered, on middle rack, under low broiler.

Let sit twenty minutes before service.  Serves 6 hearty eaters. That time I spent getting the dish in the oven was therapeutic.  After days of stuff I couldn’t control, there was finally something I could.  It was deeply restorative.

And thanks to the crack team at Mr. Tire, we had the jeep back, good as new, in less than 24 hours.  And we’ve got at least another dinner in leftovers.

But I’m really starting to worry about a noise the washing machine is making…Thanks for your time.