NECI

The Scarf

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You really, really don’t want me riding shotgun on a road trip with you.  Heck, after a few hours in a car with me, you’d be looking for that shotgun to take me out of your misery.

I try, I really do, but I have a real hard time sitting still for long periods of time.  With a severely defective attention span, I need something to keep me occupied.  Reading is the easy answer.  But when I read, I completely disengage, which rude to fellow travelers. But in the late fall of 2010, I knew I had to figure out an ants-in-the pants remedy.  We were taking The Kid up to start college.

In Vermont.

By car.

map nc to vt

It’s 800 miles from our front door to the front door of the New England Culinary Institute.  With gas, restroom, grub breaks and traffic (DC and New York traffic is a crazy-making punishment), it translates to approximately 17 hours trapped in an automobile.

Options:

Plan A- Zone out and read for the entire drive.  But I’d be giving my only baby away to higher learning in a few days, and I wanted to cherish every second we had left.

Plan B- Do nothing, allow the trip to drive me crazy, and bring the rest of the family along for the ride.Plan C- Figure out a plan C.

One day, I was in Michael’s and walked past the yarn department.  And they had some really soft, pretty yarn.  The wheels started creaking.

I like love adore cozy winter scarves.  I knew how to crochet.  It would keep my hands occupied, but I’d still be able to interact.

So, I bought crochet hooks, a bespoke bag, and about 37 skeins of this crazy-soft yarn in shades from light aqua to deep periwinkle.yarnI took a glance at an online tutorial, and started work on it a few days before we left, in case I ran into any glitches.  I made the initial chain which was the width of my scarf.  I chose a whopping 24 inches.

The directions informed me that I should do extra chain stitches when I came to the end of each row.  But I wanted this to be my own creation, without the oversight and fish eye of some online schoolmarm.    As I was working on the third or fourth row, I realized why I was advised to do the extra chain stitches.  Without them the edges curled up like a piece of fried bologna.

Whoops.I unraveled and started over with the corrected technique.

On the road to Vermont, I got to work in earnest.  Tension is how hard the yarn is pulled and tightened while being crocheted.  To create a work that is consistent in size, the tension must be consistent.

Whoops.

I unraveled and started over with the corrected tension.I dropped stitches before I learned how to gauge where the row ended.

Whoops.

I think you may see where this is all heading.  Lots of whoops-es and much unraveling.  In the end, it took two and a half years to produce a finished scarf.

Which I’ve never used, because it’s about thirty-eight feet long and weighs 14 pounds.  It’s long enough to warm the necks of the starting line-up of Duke’s men’s basketball team, with enough left over for the entire coaching staff.

scarf

The actual, aforementioned scarf.

About the same time The Kid graduated college, I finished a second scarf.  And the next year I whipped up a crocheted blanket for my little scholar for Christmas.  A year later I whipped up infinity scarves for my three nieces and another afghan for some very special newlyweds.

But I still can’t be stuck in a car for more than an hour without losing my mind.Thanks for your time.

I’ll get you, my praline

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kateys walk 2

The view near The Kid’s house in Woodstock.

 

After The Kid finished freshman year of college up in Vermont, an internship was landed in Woodstock, NY.  Petey and I flew up, and would rent a car to lug child and possessions to a Craigslist-rented apartment in the Empire state.

*Here’s a piece of interesting trivia that I learned up there: the famous “Summer of Love” festival was not actually in Woodstock NY, but 60 miles southwest, in Bethel NY.  And if every baby boomer that claims to have been there really was, no human under the age of thirty would have been present anywhere else on the planet that weekend.  (Actually, I did go to school with a girl who was one of those naked toddlers in attendance, but she has no memory of it; coincidentally neither do many of the adult concert-goers.)

Anyway, back to the airport…Petey uses a walking stick, and I was concerned that it would be confiscated by the TSA.  I’d done bounteous research, but the rules as written were vague, and open to wide interpretation.  I was a little nervous that a grouchy agent with a toothache or one who’d gotten a call from the IRS would nix the cane, and my husband would be physically penalized for the duration.

I’d planned to make some treats to take up for The Kid to share with friends.  So, I decided to put together goody bags full of my homemade cheese wafers and my creamy, delicious pecan pralines to hand out at security. I was hoping this good will gesture would facilitate smooth sailing through the line.

It worked.

By the time Petey, his cane, and I got through security, we were on a first-name basis with the agents.  We’d reduced one sweet woman to tears because the pralines reminded her so much of the ones her dearly departed granny used to make for holidays and special occasions.

Vanilla Bean Pecan Pralines

pralines3 cups broken pecans

2 cups light brown sugar, packed

1 cup granulated sugar

 1 1/2 cups heavy cream

 1/3 cup whole milk

 6 tablespoons butter, salted

 1 1/2 teaspoons salt

1 vanilla bean, scraped

Toast pecans:

Place pecan pieces in a dry skillet on medium.  Stirring constantly, cook until color deepens and they’re aromatic.  Remove from heat, and let cool.

In medium saucepan, combine brown sugar, granulated sugar, cream, milk, butter, empty vanilla pod, and salt. Cook over medium, stirring constantly, until mixture reaches 230°. Discard pod, lower heat slightly, add toasted pecans and continue cooking, stirring constantly, until it gets to 236°. Remove from heat; let stand for 5 minutes. Add vanilla bean scrapings and stir with wooden spoon until mixture is thickened and slightly creamy, about 1-2 minutes. Using a small cookie scoop, spoon the pralines onto a sheet of parchment paper or waxed paper. If the mixture becomes stiff or grainy, return to burner and stir over medium heat until it can be easily scooped and dropped.

Makes 4 dozen.They were a hit in Montpelier, too.

Our first night in Vermont we were in a hotel, but The Kid was staying at the dorm to finish packing.  A school friend, Chase (Northerner and praline neophyte), came over to hang out with our child.  Despite dire warnings of the richness of the candy, and to his everlasting regret, he polished off the remaining 30 pralines in the time it took to watch Hot Tub Tome Machine.

You ever seen a praline hangover?

It ain’t pretty.

Representation–not The Kid’s school friend.

Thanks for your time.