spicy food

old school photog I had a plan. I was going to get really pretty pictures of this brand-new pasta salad I’d invented. Petey had shown me a few camera tricks and I was going to wow the world with this gorgeous summer dish.

There was only one problem.

I forgot. amnesia I’ve had a life-long culinary handicap. I’ve talked about it many times, and in various ways: baby tongue, delicate palate, wimpy mouth. No matter the moniker, they all mean the same thing. I have a very low tolerance for heat/spice.

My upper limit is in the poblano neighborhood. This pecadillo isn’t a choice, I’d love to be able to order willy-nilly, from any Mexican menu, or eat Thai or Indian food, or order a Chinese dish that has a red pepper symbol on the menu without begging the proprietor to leave off the spice, and worry until I take the first bite that they’ve either ignored me or forgotten. too spicy It literally causes me pain (and definitely not in a good way), and I can’t eat it. But, it would be a perfect weight loss strategy—if I didn’t have a problem with wasting any food, fiery or not.

I have discovered that I can eat a pretty intense level of horseradish. It’s a different type of heat, more nasal and “less mouth scorching-ly why God why?” Eating it makes me feel like a big girl.

Can I take your order?

But a couple years ago I discovered chili and lime. It’s a combination made in flavor heaven. It’s the savory equivalent of Holmes and Watson, or Kenan and Kell.

The Kid and I love to shop at Trader Joes. One reason is that they’re constantly coming up with products that are so good they make one wonder, why weren’t these always a thing? Just in the spice aisle alone, the have an umami seasoning, and a jar of everything bagel sprinkle which my child adores. chili lime But my new favorite is the chili-lime seasoning. It’s perfectly balanced and goes great on meat, avocados, and fruit. The other day I made pasta salad, and got crazy with it.

And that’s the dish that we devoured before I remembered to take a photo. So, here’s the recipe:

Summer Red & Green Pasta Salad mex pasta salad ½ lb. rotelle or other small extruded pasta, like shells or cavatappi, cooked according to directions and drained

½ rotisserie chicken, skinned, pulled, and cut into bite-size pieces

1 cup mixed grape tomatoes, sliced in half

1 cup thawed frozen peas

Place all salad components into large bowl and toss.

Dressing mex dressing 1 cup mayonnaise

juice from 1 lime

1 teaspoon chili lime seasoning (more or less according to taste)

salt & pepper

1/4 green onions, sliced thinly

smoked salt (optional)

gel from the bottom of the rotisserie container (optional)

Whisk together dressing ingredients and add enough very hot tap water to get it to the consistency of thick pancake batter.

Garnish mex garnish baby spinach

chopped avocado, seasoned and dressed with a tablespoon of lime juice

Gently fold in enough dressing to make the salad a little wetter than you want the finished product, as some will absorb into the pasta. Cover and let sit at room temp for thirty minutes.

When ready to serve, lay a pile of spinach, spoon on some salad, and top with avocado. mex salad Serves 6-8.

This salad would be perfect for a barbecue. But, it’s also a terrific cold dinner all by itself. Or, if you’ve got company, serve it with some crusty bread, and some Mexican street corn, elote (roasted corn on the cob painted with mayo and dusted with chili lime and the crumbly Mexican cheese cotija).

And since I’m a big, grown-up, chili-eating girl, I’m having mine with Sangria. sangria Thanks for your time.

I was born with what I believe is a legitimate congenital defect.

The technical, Latin nomenclature for this is (or should be), Lingua Infans, or “Baby Tongue”.

Regardless of appetites or desires, the ingestion of fiery, spicy foods results in pain and distress. As a result, I can eat almost no Indian food, and Jamaican food scares the pants off me. Even a heavy-handed use of black pepper can overwhelm.

Many people make fun of this flaw, and inform me that it’s a matter of will; that if I want to be a grown-up and eat spicy foods, I should just put on my big girl panties, and do it. Not true. I’d love to be able to tuck into a plate of tikka masala, or some spicy nachos, but I am physically unable to do it.

But what I also don’t do is make a big deal out of it. It’s my habañero-covered cross to bear, no one else’s. So when eating out I’ve become very good at avoiding suspect menu items.

I think that’s one reason why I love Chinese food so much. While there are dishes with enough heat to really hurt me, they don’t comprise the bulk of the menu. Other Asian cuisine; most notably Thai, are not so safe.

This week’s recipe is my home version of Chicken Mei Fun (pronounced, “my fun”). It’s very similar to fried rice, but instead of rice grains, angel hair pasta made from rice is used (Find it in Asian markets and some grocery stores).

Chicken Mei Fun

8 ounces rice vermicelli

Lay into a pot of very hot water, and soak for 20 minutes. After soaking, pour into a colander in which you’ve placed the spinach. This will wilt the spinach and get it ready to toss into the stir fry.

Protein:

protien

3 cups shredded rotisserie chicken

3 eggs, well beaten

2 tablespoons chives, chopped

2 teaspoons vegetable oil

Make an omelet with the eggs and chives. Cut into 1/2-inch strips and set aside for assembly.

Vegetables:

veggies

2 carrots, julienned

1/2 yellow onion, sliced thinly

8 ounces mushrooms

1 tablespoon vegetable oil

Aromatics:

aro

3 cloves garlic, minced

2 tablespoons grated ginger

1 large shallot, diced

Sauce:

sauce

Whisk together

3/4 cup soy sauce

2 tablespoons toasted sesame oil

1 tablespoon brown sugar

1 tablespoon cider vinegar

1 tablespoon Sherry

Finishing:

finish

2 cups raw spinach

1 cup frozen peas, thawed

*Stir frying goes crazy fast once it gets started, so get all of your prep done before turning on the burner.

To cook:

If you don’t have a wok, get a very large, very heavy pot almost smoking hot. Add 1 tablespoon oil to the pan. Put in the carrots and mushrooms. Cook for a couple of minutes, and when all the liquid has released and cooked out, add onions. Cook for 30 seconds.

Stir in aromatics then immediately add the proteins. Pour in sauce and toss.

When coated, pour in noodles, spinach, and thawed peas. Gently mix to coat.

mei fun

Serves 6-8.

I’ve eaten this from a few Chinese restaurants. But the more popular recipe is called Singapore Mei Fun. It’s a reflection of the Indian population living in Singapore, and this version has curry. As you can guess, because of my affliction, I do not have a good relationship with curry.

But if you would like, you are welcome to Singapore up this recipe with the addition of 1 ½ tablespoons curry powder and 3 dried bird’s eye chilis.

Bon Appetite, intrepid soul.

Thanks for your time.

bull city mom

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OMG You Guys! I Love Chili!

My, how fun