The House of Good Ideas

There’s this story I heard years ago.A woman was making brisket for dinner.  And, like always, she cut two inches off before putting it into the oven.  Her daughter asked why.

“Because that’s what my mom does.”

Her daughter asked, “Why does Gramma do it?”

“I have no idea.”

Soon, they got Gramma and the phone, who confessed she’d done it that way because her mother had done it that way.

Finally, the three generations of curious females contacted the original cook and asked her why she cut off the end of every brisket.

“Because,” she answered, “My roasting pan was two inches short!”Life is full of things we do that make little to no sense, but we do it because nobody thinks to ask Gramma, “Why?”

Last Monday I spent the day in Raleigh, at a restaurant called Whiskey Kitchen.  I was there observing the filming of a TV show.  The restaurant wasn’t open yet, so it was quiet, which enabled me to poke around and ask lots of questions.

And I had some questions.The first one was about the lady’s room.

Most women carry a purse.  When washing one’s hands in a public lav, there is a conundrum.  Do I set my bag on the floor, which doesn’t even bear thinking about, or next to the sink that’s knuckle deep in questionable ‘water’.Ah, but at Whiskey Kitchen there is no bathroom Gordian knot.  There is a giant hook hanging next to the sink in the lady’s room.  It should become federal law that every public restroom must have a giant hook hanging next to every sink—it just should.

Pesto is an Italian condiment/sauce that traditionally is a mixture of basil, garlic, Parmesan, olive oil, and usually pine nuts, or pistachios, walnuts, or another tree nut.But those nuts bring more issues than a Batman comic.  Not only are there lots of people with nut allergies, these allergies are nothing to mess around with.  Allergic people have died from kissing someone who had recently eaten nuts.  Even eating food prepared in kitchens with nuts can cause adverse reactions.

But the Whiskey Kitchen genius chefs have an answer: sunflower seeds.  It elevates and invigorates the classic pesto flavor, which sometimes can seem tired from over familiarity.OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAFried okra’s delicious.  But, if you’re a fork user, you chase the little nuggets around your plate.  If you go commando and use your fingers, you get covered in ranch.

But, not at Whiskey Kitchen.  They cut the okra…length-wise.  So you have a little stick of crispy goodness to dunk into their Green Goddess Ranch.

Whiskey Kitchen Green Goddess Ranch

(This recipe was sized down from a restaurant sized amount.  The herbs are approximate and can be adjusted according to taste)1 tablespoon Basil

1 tablespoon Parsley

1 tablespoon cut chive

2 teaspoons dill

2 teaspoons mint

1 teaspoon lemon zest

3/4 teaspoon tablespoon garlic powder

1/2 teaspoon paprika

1/2 cups buttermilk

2 cups mayo

1/2 cup Greek yogurt

1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce

1 1/2 teaspoons lemon juice

1 1/2 teaspoons red wine vinegar

1 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon black peppergreen goddessCut all herbs finely, by hand. Combine half in the blender.

Mix Worcestershire sauce, lemon juice, vinegar, salt. Reserve for later along with half the herbs.

Blend all other ingredients in blender. Add the acid, salt & pepper and reserved herbs by hand.

Next week I’ll give you their pesto recipe and tell you about another crazy idea of theirs which turns out to be one of the most original and tasty bites I’ve ever put into my mouth.

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Mmmmm…mozzarella balloon… 

Thanks for your time.

The big chill

Cryostasis. According to the Oxford dictionary, it’s “A frozen state of a person…induced in order to preserve it for long periods; cryosuspension.”

Well, it’s not just for deep space travel and Walt Disney anymore.

The Kid and I adore avocados.  It wasn’t always this way.  We developed our love for them through their most famous gateway drug; guacamole.  But we now love them on toast, sliced and salted; just about any way.

Avocados can be a giant pain in the keester, though.  If you’re buying and eating on the same day, good luck.  Stores get them in as hard as a baseball; they ripen on the grocer’s shelf as they wait to be picked to go to a new home.

So choose them according to when you need them.  4 or 5 days out?  Buy rocks.  For a couple days from preparation, pick ones that give just a little to gentle pressure.

At Costco there’s plenty of choices.  Take your time, and pick out a bag of boulders.

I buy a bag of six from Costco, and try to get the hardest ones they’ve got.  This gives me a few days grace to get my ducks in row, and be prepared for when they’re ripe.

But what to do when the avocado is ready and you’re not?  Because everybody knows that when a good avocado goes bad, it joins a gang, gets a face tattoo, and starts bullying onions and tomatillos for their lunch money.  And they only possess perfect, delicious ripeness for twenty minutes or so.

This is where the cryostasis comes in.  If you have a mess of fully ripened avocados (they’ll give to the light pressure and be slightly softened all over,) lying around the kitchen, set them, unwrapped, in the fridge.

I refrigerated ripe ones with the idea of using them in a few days.  But I figured what would happen is that I’d cut into one and discover something so bruised it would be as appetizing as a cigarette put out in a piece of birthday cake.  Last Tuesday, 2 days after stashing them in the chill chest, I took out a perfect avocado; no strings, no bumps, no bruises.

And then I made my new favorite avocado dish.

Avocado and spinach pesto

avocado pest ingredients

12 ounces short pasta

3 ½ cups raw baby spinach

2 avocados

½ cup grated Parmesan cheese

Juice of 2 lemons (bout ¼ cup)

¼ cup olive oil

¼ cup chives or scallions

1 teaspoon kosher salt

1/2 teaspoon fresh cracked pepper

1 cup reserved pasta cooking water

Cook pasta according to directions in heavily salted water.  Microwave spinach for about 1 minute 45 seconds or completely wilted.  Place into food processor.

When the pasta has five more minutes, make sauce. 

Add the avocado meat, cheese, lemon juice, olive oil, salt and pepper.  Process, adding enough hot pasta water until it’s sauce consistency.

Drain pasta and return to pot.  Pour sauce over and gently stir to coat.  Garnish with chives.

Serves 2-4.

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The pesto would also make a good dressing or dipping sauce. 

This stasis trick is even more amazing.  Last Tuesday, 2 full weeks after entering stasis, The Kid cut into a refrigerated avocado.  It was perfect and delicious.  I think we’ve cracked the code.  No more waste.  With all the scary avocados I’ve tossed in my life, I could probably finance a week’s vacation to Kill Devil Hills, and bring along Petey, The Kid, and the dog too.

Best of all, avocado’s pernicious stranglehold over me has been broken.  They’ll be eaten and used at my pleasure.  I will never again be a slave to botany.

Thanks for your time.

Hey jalousie

Jalousie is a French word, meaning louvers.  It’s also the technical name of this week’s dish.

But I have given it an American twist, used my writer’s prerogative, and renamed it.

This new recipe is now called “Saloon Doors”.

I learn the oddest and most arcane things writing these essays each week.  I should rent myself out for trivia games.  For today’s topic I did a little research on those swinging louvered doors festooning saloon entrances in Western movies.

And discovered they’re pretty much a Hollywood invention.

Think about it, having half doors swinging in the wind would have been a horrible idea for someplace like Montana in January.  And using those doors would have left no manner of securing the saloon when closed—which it did for at least a few hours every day (Miss Kitty needs her sleep, y’all).

But they make for very dramatic entrances of black-hatted villains and white-hatted heroes into the saloon and thus Tinsel Town has implanted them irrevocably into our collective psyche.

Anyway, back to my own, edible, clichéd, saloon doors.  The recipe calls for puff pastry, manipulated, stuffed and baked.  So once you know the procedure, you can fill it to your taste and occasion.  As a jumping-off place I’ll give you four ideas for filling; breakfast, lunch, dinner, and dessert.  Where you go from there is up to you.

This recipe is made with frozen puff pastry, found in most supermarkets, and made by layering dough with butter, rolling, and refolding, countless times.  This gives it up to a thousand layers.  The water in the butter evaporates while baking.  This produces steam which gives the puff.

I offer a few pieces of advice.  Try to purchase all-butter pastry; it tastes and cooks better.  Let it thaw overnight in the fridge, or if not possible, on the counter until it can be unfolded and worked.  If you seal the edges, you will not get left.  So don’t get egg wash on them; it’ll glue them shut.  When cutting; cut, don’t press.  When sealing the two pieces, be gentle.  Egg wash, then cut the slats, so the steam can escape.

Saloon doors

(Makes 2 complete pastries)

2 sheets puff pastry, thawed

1 egg, lightly beaten

Preheat oven to 425.

Cut each sheet in half.  Lay out two pieces on parchment-lined cookie sheet.  Spread filling on each, leaving a ¾ inch border.  Brush beaten egg on naked border.  Fill. Top each piece with the other sheet.  Lightly press border to seal.  Brush egg on top layer.  Leaving ¾ inch border, cut 1-inch horizontal slats down the length of each piece.

Bake at 425 until the pastry begins to brown and puff.  Lower oven to 375 and bake until dough is dry, crisp and deep golden-brown.

Slice and serve.  Makes 4-6 servings.

Breakfast Filling:

breakfast door

Scramble 10 eggs.  Season.  Cook 6 slices bacon until crisp. Spread eggs onto bottom sheets of pastry, leaving ¾ inch border.  Sprinkle on crumbled bacon and chopped fresh parsley.  Top with pinched off pieces of goat or Boursin cheese.  Cover with second piece, brush with egg wash, and cut slats, leaving border.

Bake according to directions above.

Lunch:

lunch door

Sauté leeks and mushrooms until browned and dry.  Spread on pastry.  Sprinkle on julienned prosciutto.  Using a potato peeler, scrape ribbons of Parmesan cheese over top.  Lay on top pastry, prepare, and bake.

Dinner:

dinner door

Spread thin layer of pesto on bottom of sheets.  Cover with shredded rotisserie chicken.  Dot with sun-dried tomatoes and mozzarella cheese bits.  Finish and bake.

Dessert:

dessert door

Spread half of a jar of black cherry preserves on each sheet.  Cut one 8-ounce block of cream cheese into small squares.  Top preserves with cream cheese, and dot with toasted, chopped pecans.   Cover, finish, and bake.  Sprinkle cooled tart with powdered sugar, and serve with whipped cream, or ice cream.

These are easy, but look impressive.  If you often have unexpected guests, it’s not a bad idea to keep a box of puff pastry in your freezer.  You could fill them with anything that you have on hand.  And when you carry out one of these puppies they’ll be so fancy looking, you’ll make Martha Stewart look like a slacker.

Thanks for your time.