Did you ever notice how much I talk about carbs?
It comes from my parents. In Jersey, where my mom’s from; and Pennsylvania, my dad’s home state, instead of biscuits for breakfast, them Yankees eat something called hard rolls. They’re delightful little carb bombs; soft and pillow-y on the inside, with a crispy crunchy crust. Eaten fresh, you break them apart and schmear them with lots of butter.
My dad tells a funny, sweet story about them.Before he met and married my mom, he was a young Coast Guardsman stationed in Elizabeth City. This was the first time he’d lived in the south. One Saturday morning he hitched a ride from the base to the town’s only bakery.
He walked in looking for a taste of home. He asked the counter girl, “Do you have hard rolls?”
The young woman looked at him with sad eyes and replied, “No shug, but we do have day-old bread.”It’s still pretty difficult to find hard rolls in NC. But, as far as comfort foods go, they’re close to perfect. Some days you just need hard rolls and a bucket of butter.
The square rolls sold at Costco, and most baguettes come close. Freeze them, and when needed, run them under cold water and stick ‘em in a 350 degree oven for 13 minutes. The flavors and textures are almost indistinguishable from the magic that is a hard roll.
So yeah, I guess I love me some carbs—it’s in my DNA. Even now, every other weekend The Kid and I go to Caffe Driade in Chapel Hill. I get their frothy, delicious hot chocolate, my child has a pot of French press, and we split a fresh crusty baguette with butter and strawberry jam. But my oldest (and I mean old literally–that wench went to kindergarten with Nefertiti; plus I’ve known her for 38 years) girlfriend Bo called last week, and pointed out something to me—I rarely show diabetics any love.
If you’re not familiar with the disease, it’s not only sugar that’s dangerous, it’s also carbs. Once they’re eaten, it takes almost no time for your body to turn carbohydrates into sugar.
The American Diabetes Association recommends 135-230 grams of carbohydrates per day. But there is new thinking about this. Many doctors now recommend only 20-50 grams per day. For many people, this alone can keep them off insulin shots.
This is my friend Bo’s lot. Every carb is counted. So, starches such as potatoes, rice, and pasta are verboten.
But…I found, on a website called Diet Doctor, a recipe for bread that only has two carbs per serving. The more uncommon ingredients can be procured online.
The Low-Carb Bread
1¼ cups almond flour
5 tablespoons ground psyllium husk powder
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon sea salt
2 teaspoons apple cider vinegar
1¼ cups boiling water
3 egg whites
Sesame seedsPreheat oven to 350°F. Mix dry ingredients in a bowl.
Bring water to boil and add it, vinegar and egg whites to bowl, while beating with hand mixer for about 30 seconds. Don’t over-mix dough, the consistency should resemble Play-Doh.
Moisten hands and form dough into 4 or 8 pieces of bread. You can also make hot dog or hamburger buns. Place on a greased baking sheet.
Bake on lower rack in oven for 50–60 minutes, depending on the size of your bread. They’re done when you hear a hollow sound when tapping the bottom of the bun.
Serve with butter and toppings of choice. Store in fridge or freezer. Makes 6 servings.
I really admire my bud. Bo is impressive for many reasons, but swearing off carbs boggles my mind. My two favorite foods are potato salad and birthday cake. If I had to give them up, I know myself.
I’d become the crankiest serial killer ever.Thanks for your time.