I have a few words of wisdom that have served me well, Gentle Reader.

1.) Don’t buy the Costco sample the first time you try it no matter how much you like it.  If you’re still thinking about it on the next visit, go for it.

2.) If a corporation says that everything will stay the same when it buys a company, everything, and I mean Every.Single.Thing., will change.

3.) If someone tells you they’re a kid at heart, or a big kid, they almost always are not.  It’s the same type of weird narcissism as giving yourself a nickname. 

That guy’s not childlike.  They are almost certainly childish.  One trait is delightful and endearing, the other is arrogant and exhausting with a barely concealed mean streak.

A childlike person makes a wish list for birthdays and Christmas.  But they only offer it if asked.  And if they receive a gift from the list, they are honestly surprised and delighted.  A childish person posts their list to all social media accounts and emails it to their entire contact list.  Upon receiving a gift; if it’s not from their list, they have no problem venting their disappointment to the giver.

If childlike messes up, it shatters them.  Their hearts are worn flung around them like an oversized cloak.  The guilt that they have made a mistake or hurt someone’s feelings is overwhelming because like an actual child, feelings come hard, fast, and one at a time.

Childish is never to blame.  It’s not their fault and they have a whole encyclopedia of excuses and people to blame.  In fact, they are the victim and they deserve sympathy. 

Childlike is a butterfly.  Their attention span may be short, but everything is embraced with passion and enthusiasm.  Entrenched is a concept that doesn’t even occur to them.

Childish acts impulsively and without much thought to consequences.  But when the chips start falling and questions are asked, Childish embodies stubborn.  Backing off a position, or even listening to reason is not an option. 

Childlike might try to lie on occasion, but they are so open and transparent, they’re terrible at it.  And, they know it themselves.  So, lies are neither frequent nor successful, but usually hilarious.

Childish is the center of the universe.  If the truth is in the way, it is sacrificed to the altar of expediency.  That lies fly so fast and furiously means that Childish is good at them.  In fact, sometimes even when the truth is known it’s doubted because Childish appears to completely believe every pant-burning word that falls from their lips.

Childlike loves positive attention like the puppies they are.  They also adore celebrating the specialness of the people around them.  Negative attention toward themselves breaks them.  Negative attention toward others brings out the fighting spirit of a loyal defender.

Childish needs attention like plants need sunshine.  Positive attention reinforces their pathologically elevated opinion of themselves.  But negative attention is not unwelcome.  It brings out the rabid attack dog that does not stop until the enemy has been vanquished and ground into the dust, never to rise again.

We all have both childlike and childish inside us.  The struggle is to nurture childlike but not so much that we turn into a charmless Forest Gump.

The childish should be acknowledged for a fuller understanding of ourselves, but kept muzzled.

On the television show King of the Hill there was a character named Connie Souphanousinphone who summed up this perfectly when talking to a friend, “We all have those feelings, Bobby. But, we never act on them

Thanks for your time.