Rice, Rice Baby

Open any home magazine and you’ll find numerous bakes in which meat is nestled on top of raw rice mixed with canned soup, water, and maybe a few veggies.  After 45 minutes or so in the oven and you’ve got dinner.There’s just one problem.  Inside that can of soup is five thousand ingredients, each of which has at least twelve unpronounceable syllables.  And oy, the sodium–it’s really problematic for people who have heath issues like high blood pressure.  But even if you’re otherwise fit, with enough sodium you could wake up so bloated you’re mistaken for a parade float.

Just take two of the most popularly used flavors.  One serving of cream of tomato has 20% of your recommended daily sodium, and cream of mushroom contains 36%.  And that’s based on a 2000 calorie diet.  The only days I consume 2000 calories is when there is potato salad or birthday cake in the house.

But I really like the idea of the bake.

The other day I was making smothered pork country ribs and was looking in the cabinet trying to decide what starch to make with it.  And way in the back I found a bag of black rice.  It wasn’t black because I’d forgotten about it since the Carter administration; it came that way.

Black rice, or forbidden rice, comes in almost as many varieties as white.  It’s crazy healthy with more antioxidants than blueberries, and tons of fiber, iron, and vitamin E.  The Chinese believe it’s very good for the kidneys, stomach, and liver.  Like brown rice, it’s nutty and a little chewy.  Unlike brown rice, Petey happily eats it.

I was planning on searing the ribs on the stove and then braising them in some gravy from another pork dinner a couple months ago when I’d made way too much and froze the leftovers.  I wasn’t sure there would be enough gravy for the meat and to pour over the cooked rice.  I could add more stock and roux (cooked flour and butter used as a sauce thickener), but I decided to go a different route.

I would cook the pork in a slow oven (300 degrees) until it was almost done, then take it out of the oven, remove the pork, stir in the black rice, replace the meat, and put it back in to cook.

But there would be some straight up estimating going on.  I wasn’t sure how much liquid would be in the pot when I added the rice, and I would be winging it on the timing, as well.

steampunk scienceThe first thing I did was to tell Petey that tonight’s dinner would be a total experiment, and if things went south we might be dining on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

The next thing I did was some research, because the rice was in a Ziploc bag and had no instructions.  I needed to know the rice/liquid ratio, and the cooking time.  This is what I discovered for a few of the more commonly used types.  These numbers are for baking covered in the oven at 350 degrees.  Stovetop cooking will be different.

Rice Variety Baking Chart

rice types

Type                          Rice/Liquid Rato                    Cook Time

Long grain white  1 cup rice/2 cups liquid            20-24 

Brown                       1 cup rice/2 ¼ cups liquid     Approx 55

Black                         1 cup rice/2 ½ cups liquid      55-75 

Wild rice                   1 cup rice/3 ½ cups liquid      Approx 90 

Short grain              1 cup rice/2 ½ cups liquid      25-30 

I was estimating the amount of liquid in my pot.  After 55 minutes I checked and found the rice wasn’t quite cooked through, and there was too much liquid left.  I took off the lid and turned on the low broiler so the heat would come directly onto the food’s surface.  After twenty more minutes it was just right.  I took it out of the oven, recovered it, and let it sit for 15 minutes.

That night we dined well on pork, and perfectly cooked rice.  But now that I think about it all again, I kinda want that peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Thanks for your time.

The big chill

Cryostasis. According to the Oxford dictionary, it’s “A frozen state of a person…induced in order to preserve it for long periods; cryosuspension.”

Well, it’s not just for deep space travel and Walt Disney anymore.

The Kid and I adore avocados.  It wasn’t always this way.  We developed our love for them through their most famous gateway drug; guacamole.  But we now love them on toast, sliced and salted; just about any way.

Avocados can be a giant pain in the keester, though.  If you’re buying and eating on the same day, good luck.  Stores get them in as hard as a baseball; they ripen on the grocer’s shelf as they wait to be picked to go to a new home.

So choose them according to when you need them.  4 or 5 days out?  Buy rocks.  For a couple days from preparation, pick ones that give just a little to gentle pressure.

At Costco there’s plenty of choices.  Take your time, and pick out a bag of boulders.

I buy a bag of six from Costco, and try to get the hardest ones they’ve got.  This gives me a few days grace to get my ducks in row, and be prepared for when they’re ripe.

But what to do when the avocado is ready and you’re not?  Because everybody knows that when a good avocado goes bad, it joins a gang, gets a face tattoo, and starts bullying onions and tomatillos for their lunch money.  And they only possess perfect, delicious ripeness for twenty minutes or so.

This is where the cryostasis comes in.  If you have a mess of fully ripened avocados (they’ll give to the light pressure and be slightly softened all over,) lying around the kitchen, set them, unwrapped, in the fridge.

I refrigerated ripe ones with the idea of using them in a few days.  But I figured what would happen is that I’d cut into one and discover something so bruised it would be as appetizing as a cigarette put out in a piece of birthday cake.  Last Tuesday, 2 days after stashing them in the chill chest, I took out a perfect avocado; no strings, no bumps, no bruises.

And then I made my new favorite avocado dish.

Avocado and spinach pesto

avocado pest ingredients

12 ounces short pasta

3 ½ cups raw baby spinach

2 avocados

½ cup grated Parmesan cheese

Juice of 2 lemons (bout ¼ cup)

¼ cup olive oil

¼ cup chives or scallions

1 teaspoon kosher salt

1/2 teaspoon fresh cracked pepper

1 cup reserved pasta cooking water

Cook pasta according to directions in heavily salted water.  Microwave spinach for about 1 minute 45 seconds or completely wilted.  Place into food processor.

When the pasta has five more minutes, make sauce. 

Add the avocado meat, cheese, lemon juice, olive oil, salt and pepper.  Process, adding enough hot pasta water until it’s sauce consistency.

Drain pasta and return to pot.  Pour sauce over and gently stir to coat.  Garnish with chives.

Serves 2-4.

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The pesto would also make a good dressing or dipping sauce. 

This stasis trick is even more amazing.  Last Tuesday, 2 full weeks after entering stasis, The Kid cut into a refrigerated avocado.  It was perfect and delicious.  I think we’ve cracked the code.  No more waste.  With all the scary avocados I’ve tossed in my life, I could probably finance a week’s vacation to Kill Devil Hills, and bring along Petey, The Kid, and the dog too.

Best of all, avocado’s pernicious stranglehold over me has been broken.  They’ll be eaten and used at my pleasure.  I will never again be a slave to botany.

Thanks for your time.

You Can Be My Lucky Charm

How do you prefer your banana pudding?

Whipped cream?

Or meringue?

When I was pregnant with The Kid, we went up to New Jersey for what turned out to be a surprise baby shower.  The festivities were a bacchanal of Jersey-Italian party food.  Meatball and sausage sandwiches, enough potato and macaroni salad to fill a box car, and cake adorned my aunt’s groaning dining room table.

That cake.

Evidently, whipped cream is a desired cake topping for some benighted folk up there.  But I am a member of team buttercream.  Frosting’s one of my favorite foods.  Unfortunately, whipped cream was ordered.

Because my pregnancy hormones had already caused me to cry once that day, I used every ounce of my gestationally-frayed self-control and refrained from sobbing in disappointment.  But I ate no cake at my own baby shower.

You know what, though?  I think I’m good on the whole whipped cream thing.  I mean, considering this possible alternative.  My whipped cream cake  was just white with plastic babies on it–not in it.

But on banana pudding, I choose whipped cream.  Because I really dislike meringue.

Until last week.

I get weekly emails from McCormick Spice Company.  The latest one had a recipe for meringue cookies.  I studied it.

On this recipe, and every other I’ve ever seen, there are dire warnings to never attempt making meringue on rainy or humid days.  It was pouring out, but I had a theory.

My theory was that modern homes are built so air-tight that they cut down humidity to negligible levels.  As a purely scientific experiment (certainly not to eat), I’d create meringues.

Starting with the recipe they supplied, I changed it up a bit, and went to work.

Classic Vanilla Meringues

meringues supplies

4 large egg whites

1/2 teaspoon cream of tartar

1 cup sugar

1/2 teaspoon kosher salt

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Preheat oven to 225, and line 2 cookie sheets with parchment paper.

Place egg whites into bowl of stand mixer.  Beat on medium until they lighten in color and begin to increase in size.  Slowly add cream of tartar.

When they turn white, slowly add sugar a tablespoon at a time.  When added scrape down sides of bowl.

Turn mixer back on. Running on high, slowly add salt, then vanilla.  Beat until glossy, and stiff peaks form.OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAUse large pastry tip fitted on zip-top bag (or, if you don’t have a pastry tip, cut about 1/2 inch off one corner of bag). Fill with meringue and pipe onto parchment paper into circles of 2 inches wide.

Place both oven racks close to center and put one cookie sheet on each rack.  Bake for 30 minutes then rotate sheets.  Bake for 30minutes more.  Turn off oven and let meringues sit in oven for one hour. 

Because they’ll absorb moisture from the air and get soft, store them in airtight container.  You can re-crisp them in a 225 oven for 15-20 minutes, but they’ll never be as perfect as when fresh.

Makes 30 cookies.OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAThey take flavor easily, so play with extracts.  Mocha, for instance; add 2 tablespoons of cocoa with the sugar, use coffee instead of vanilla. 

So, my theory proved correct.  They turned out crispy, and to my huge surprise, crazy yummy.

They’re also only 26 calories apiece and both gluten and fat-free.

The best part is these addictive little treats are very much like marshmallows in Lucky Charms.  My whole life I’ve wished for a box that somehow slipped through quality control, and held no cereal, but was filled solely with marshmallows.

It does exist.  If this is true, who knows what else is real?  Maybe Pauly Shore is funny, and Kanye is talented.

Now when I get that feeling, I can, in twenty minutes, turn out a pan of homemade ones the size of hockey pucks.

It’s good to be alive.

Thanks for your time.