bacon

Chest Guard

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I know it’s practically considered heresy, but I firmly believe there’s only one good use for turkey.

And it’s the sandwich made from Thanksgiving leftovers; eaten very late, whilst in your pajamas.  And to make it right, it has to be on marshmallow-textured white bread, like Wonder bread or Sunbeam.

Coincidentally, this is the only acceptable use for this type of bread.

Historically, Petey and I have eaten at a relative’s home.  Under these circumstances, I would finagle a turkey doggy bag from the host.  We would swing by a convenience store on the way home for the necessary loaf of bread.  And later, we’d have our traditional midnight treat.

But for the past few years, we’ve stayed home, so there was no host to finagle.We didn’t have to miss our traditional treat, though.  Lowes Foods has roasted turkey breast at their deli.  I’d get 6 or 7 very thick slices, and make sandwiches that were a perfect post-Thanksgiving facsimile.

Last weekend I went in for the turkey.  All they had was a couple of sad bits and pieces left.  The very nice young lady behind the counter told me to come back tomorrow, because they might have more.  I was bummed, but out of luck.

Or so I thought.

Back in the meat department I found some bone-in turkey breasts.  I chose one as an alternative to the off chance of finding some in the deli in the next day or so.  On the way out, I picked up some fresh thyme.

Herb and bacon turkey breast

bacon-turkey-breast1 bone-in turkey breast (approximately 1 pound)

4 tablespoons softened butter

1 tablespoon fresh thyme, chopped

1 tablespoon fresh rosemary, chopped very finely

¼ teaspoon kosher salt

Pinch of freshly cracked pepper

4 or 5 slices bacon

4 red skinned potatoes, sliced in half along the longest side

½ cup white wine

2 teaspoons of olive oil

Preheat oven to 325.  Place potatoes, cut side down in a heavy 8 inch square baking dish.  Drizzle olive oil onto them and season.    

Mix butter with herbs, salt, and pepper. 

You may want to do the next bit wearing gloves.  Carefully loosen the skin from the chicken.   Massage the herb butter under the skin, and on the meat not covered by skin.

Lay strips of bacon across the top; covering as much of the turkey as possible.

Insert a probe thermometer into the thickest part of the meat, making sure it’s not touching bone. Set it to 165.

Pour the wine into the bottom of the baking dish and set breast on top of the potatoes.

Bake at 325 until the internal temp reaches 150.  Turn the oven to low broiler, and continue cooking until it reaches your target temp of 165 (And make sure it makes it all the way to 165.  Undercooked poultry can kill—no fooling).OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERALet it rest for 10 minutes or so and then carve and serve, along with the roasted potatoes.  The liquid in the baking dish can be poured into a small pot and cooked over medium-high heat until it reduces to sauce-like consistency.  Spoon it over the meat and potatoes.

The bacon serves a few purposes.  First, it continuously bastes the turkey while cooking, keeping it moist.  Second, the rendered bacon adds flavor and crispyness to the finished breast.

And third, it’s bacon.  It’s a universal truth that anytime and anyplace is the right time and place for bacon.

All hail our porcine overlord.  We acknowledge and welcome your bacon-y dominion over us puny mortals.Thanks for your time.

It’s all for you, Gentle Reader

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Chef James is going to be very proud.hook-and-larderChef James Clark is owner of the soon-to-be-opened food stall, Hook and Larder at the Blue Dogwood Public Market on Franklin in Chapel Hill.  He’s also a friend who has made it his personal mission to mature my taste for seafood.  I’m strictly a Filet ‘O Fish and Chicken of the Sea girl, which I think breaks his seafood-loving heart a little bit.

Well, today I ate six different denizens of the deep.

I had a date at the State Fairgrounds in Raleigh.  It was the media luncheon, which introduced foods making their debut this year to the press.  It was my first time.

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A rare sighting of Casey, the state fair mascot, in the wild.

Steve Troxler, as commissioner of the NC Agriculture Department, is the traditional host of the fair.  Because of the historic flooding caused by Hurricane Matthew (help if you can, and let’s keep those poor folks in our thoughts), he was in the field today, assessing and assisting.  His deputy, David Smith acted in his stead.

We met on the main floor of the Dorton arena.  We were warned to come hungry because we would sample new foods that were to be offered at the fair.  I prepared by eating a very light dinner last night.OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAI should have fasted for 6-8 weeks.

Beginning with the seafood: N&T Concessions had shrimp bites which were a hit at my table, a few had seconds.  The Ragin’ Cajun had a Low Country boil with corn on the cob, potatoes, sausage, and perfectly steamed shrimp with truly delicious cocktail sauce.  They also offered light and tasty blue crab hushpuppies.OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERACaptain Nell’s had fresh crab dip, and ingenious claws in which the meat was breaded and fried with the claw still attached, which made a dandy handle.   Their dip was warm, cheesy, and won best new food at the fair.

And then there was Neomonde, a Mediterranean eatery with a brick & mortar in Raleigh.  On their menu were Phoenician fish and chips.  The fish was Pollock, and delicious; perfectly fried with an extremely light coating. And the chips (fries) were tossed in Za’atar spice.  Za’atar just happens to be the spice with which I am currently obsessed.  It’s a mix of thyme, sesame, oregano, salt, and sumac; sumac’s a lemony, piney herb that Americans should eat more of.  This mixture works on anything from dressing, to pork chops, to yogurt.OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAWoody’s Wings (locations in Raleigh and Cary) and Chef’s D’lites took a couple of common sammiches and made them into egg rolls.  Oh man.

Chef’s transformed a Cuban and Woody’s made my favorite item of the day; a bacon pimento cheeseburger.  I’m going back, getting more.

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The pimento bacon cheeseburger egg roll. OMG.

And the dessert.  La Farm bakery, a Cary institution and Mecca for carb-o-vores brought chocolate whoopie pies with vanilla and raspberry filling.  They also had an interesting bread made with Carolina Gold rice.  If the normal fare at the fair is a little heavy and common for you (who are you, anyway?), La Farm always brings it with awesome baked goods, and sandwiches full of gourmet delights.ice-cream-apple-pieAnd ice cream: NCSU’s Howling Cow had caramel apple crisp, and the John Deere folks had Elvis; banana/peanut butter.  I polished off a scoop each.  I know, I couldn’t believe it myself.  But I suffered through it all for you, Gentle Reader.OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAI was warned; I came hungry, and even wore my eatin’ pants.  But both me and my pants were supremely uncomfortable on that long ride home.

See you at the Fair!

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It won’t look like this for long.  Soon it will be shoulder to shoulder.

Thanks for your time.

Please don’t judge me before you judge the salad

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I had an awful time deciding on this week’s topic.I knew what I wanted to write about, but I was hesitant to do it.  It’s not that the recipe isn’t tasty because it.so.is.  It’s not that the preparation is difficult, because literally a child (with a little adult supervision) could make this dish.   And it’s not that it requires a lot of expensive ingredients, because chances are you have everything on hand right now.

No, the problem is that on the face of it, this recipe not only seems heavy, it also seems very plain—even boring.  How could these few ingredients combine to make something tasty?

I’m here now to tell you I have no idea how it does, either.  I think it’s some kind of gestalt thing; you know, ‘the whole is greater than the sum of its parts’.

But every time I make a bowl of this stuff I think that I really need to give you, Gentle Reader, this recipe.  I love it so much that I’ve felt guilty not spilling the beans to you.  Petey loves it, and The Kid, who wasn’t crazy about an earlier version, can’t get enough of it.

There we are…we rent the other two kids to round out the table.

So, The Kid’s coming for dinner tomorrow night and I’m serving it, along with some herbed potatoes and a new preparation of pork cubed steak.  It was the first time I’ve used cornmeal to crust meat.

But enough with the beating around the bush.  The dish I’ve been rhapsodizing about is broccoli salad.  See? I told you it didn’t sound very exciting.  But gosh it is good.

A few tips about making it, though.

Cut the broccoli into very small florets.  Small as in three florets would be bite-size.  And when you add the hot water to thin the dressing, make it as hot as your faucet gets, and whisk it in very well.  You are basically making an emulsion, and you don’t want it to separate after you’ve mixed it into the salad; that’s not appetizing.

Broccoli/Bacon Salad

broc-salad

8 cups broccoli cut into very small florets

4 slices bacon, cooked until crispy, reserving ¼ cup bacon grease

1 cup mayonnaise

2/3 cups finely shredded Parmesan. Divided

Very hot water, aprox. ½ cup

Salt and pepper

Cut broccoli into small pieces and place into a large bowl.  Add half the cheese, and gently toss.

Make dressing.  Mix mayo, bacon grease, and half the cheese.  Whisk together.  Add enough hot water to make it the consistency of thick pancake batter.  Season, taste, and re-season if necessary. 

Pour dressing over broccoli and mix until veg is coated.  Crumble bacon into salad and stir in.  Cover and refrigerate.  It’s better after twelve hours or so, and lasts 4 days in fridge.Makes 8 servings.

I haven’t found anything that doesn’t go well with this salad.  It packs up great for picnics, as long as you can keep a chill on it.  It’s terrific as a potluck too, because it doesn’t look very exciting, then you taste it.  It’s the sleeper cell of side dishes.

Tomorrow we’re having it with that cornmeal crusted pork cubed steak I talked about.  It’s really easy, with a big flavor payoff.

Cornmeal crusted cubed pork: Four to six hours before cooking make a three-part dredge of seasoned flour, non-fat buttermilk, and self-rising cornmeal.  Crust the pork in that order.  Place on parchment paper covered plate, cover with another piece of parchment (so there is no stickage), seal with plastic wrap and refrigerate until cooking time.When you’re ready to cook, heat a heavy skillet on medium-high.  Add about 1 inch of vegetable oil.  When the oil is nice and hot, cook pork until browned and crispy on one side then flip and cook the other side.

Petey likes his with a piece of provolone melted on top.  The Kid and I like a spritz of lemon juice.  They also make a great filling for hearty sandwiches.

And while the salad is definitely not spa food, there is only about 300 calories per one cup serving.  My trouble comes in limiting it to that one cup.  I promise you, this stuff is amazing (and so tempting).

Thanks for your time.

Of Rice and Men

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I kept seeing it everywhere.

3 mags.png

Every month, without fail, I read three magazines cover to cover: British Cosmopolitan, Mad Magazine, and Our State (you’d think I’d be embarrassed by that admission, but, no, not so much).

I occasionally pick up other titles like InStyle, Family Circle, and the odd cooking magazine.

But I draw the line at those one-off, specialty food publications.  You know the ones; church supper potluck recipes, gifts from the kitchen, 200 recipes for hamburger, that kind of thing.

While I love specially curated culinary collections, they start at about ten bucks and go up from there.  I just can’t justify laying down that amount of cheddar for a magazine that I might only read once.

But lately, every time I’ve stood in line at a grocery or bookstore, this one publication was staring me in the face.  There was a stack of gorgeous, golden fried green tomatoes on the cover, and the promise of many more delights inside.

It was Southern Cast Iron, and after I saw it for the fourteenth time, I finally broke down and bought it.

I’m really glad I did.

It was no bait and switch rag.  It had tons of delicious-sounding recipes, and the inside was as gorgeous as the cover.

There was one story that really caught my eye.  It was an interview with Nathalie Dupree and co-author Cynthia Graubart about their book, Mastering The Art of Southern Vegetables.  This was actually before I knew we’d have a food chat.  Quelle coincidence!

They talked about the history of vegetables in the south, their philosophy, and their love of cast iron cooking.  Along with the interview were some recipes.

One was for okra pilau (unbelievably it’s usually pronounced “per-lou”—don’t ask, I’ve no idea).  Pilau is a Southern take on rice pilaf.

Regardless what it’s called, every rice culture has some kind of pilaf.  It possibly originated in ancient Persia, but traveled far and wide, and showed up in various cultures with names like, pilau, polow, and even paella.

Well last week I made it, and it was a huge hit.  It was simple, but full of flavor.  The Kid thought I had added herbs and spices, but the sole ingredients were bacon, rice, okra, salt and pepper.  Since the magazine has already printed it, I’m doing a pilau which is inspired by Nathalie’s tasty, tasty dish.

Pecan Pilau

corn pilau

3 tablespoons butter

1 cup pecan pieces

1 large yellow onion, sliced into half moons

1 cup white shoe peg corn

1 cup rice

2 cups water

Salt and pepper

Heat large cast iron skillet to medium.  Melt butter and add pecans.  Season and sauté until toasted.  Remove and set aside, leaving the butter.

Add onions, and reduce heat to medium-low.  Season, and cook stirring occasionally until caramel colored.

Turn burner to medium, add corn, and cook until there’s a little color on the kernels.  Add rice, and cook until the grains start to smell nutty.  Add water and bring to boil.

When it begins to boil, cover, reduce heat, and cook for 17-20 minutes or the water’s all cooked in.  Remove from heat, leave covered, and let rest for 10-15 minutes.

When ready to serve, add back pecans, and gently toss with a large fork.  Serves 4-6 as a side.

So, there you go.  You learned a new recipe and some history about rice.  And now you probably know way more about what goes on in the dim, chaotic crawl space of my mind than you ever wanted.

Thanks for your time.

Patriotic Party Guest

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You can ask The Kid, and there will be full confirmation—I am a corny, kitschy, sentimentalist.

When Petey and I travel, we both love to do the touristy thing.  I’m the girl that would totally stop at World’s Largest Jack-in-the-Box (Middletown, CT), the Indian Death Tiki of Awesomeness (Maggie Valley, NC), and spend the night in dog shaped digs at the Dog Bark Park Inn (Cottonwood, ID) or beneath boulders at Kokopelli’s Cave Bed & Breakfast (Farmington, NM).

OMG, I love these things…

Each fall I literally do a happy dance in the grocery store the first time I see the mellow-creme pumpkins on sale (and don’t even start–they are a completely different confection from candy corns).

I buy one loaf of spongy white, Sunbeam or Wonder bread a year.  It’s used to make my annual Thanksgiving night, before bed, turkey sandwich.

My sweater is exactly like the one in the middle.  Yes, folks, it’s so bad they put it in a very famous Saturday Night Live sketch (I owned it before the sketch).

At Christmastime, I watch hours and hours of fifty-year-old cartoon and Claymation holiday-themed productions.  Each year, If not physically restrained by Petey, I would happily perch on Santa’s lap for a nice, long chat.  I own a Christmas sweater so ugly it’s illegal in 25 states and actually has functioning bells on it.

So when there is a barbecue or picnic for the Fourth of July, you darn well better believe that there will be food, beverages, décor and fashion in red, white, and blue.

For dessert, I buy Independence Day hued M&M’s and liberally scatter them, along with handfuls of broken pretzel pieces, on top of my dark chocolate, fudgy brownies.  And I serve Sundaes with homemade vanilla ice cream drenched in fresh cherry and blueberry sauces.

Blue historically, has been hard to find in savory foods.  I guess there’s blue cheese, and I like it fine, but it’s only blue because of mold; which isn’t really very festive when you think about it.

About fifteen years ago, the US was introduced to a colorful new spud.  Even though it’s known as a purple Peruvian potato, don’t be fooled.  Most of them are as blue as the moon in Kentucky, Elvis’ suede shoes, and a K Mart special.

Uncle Sam’s potato salad

red white blue spud salad

3 pound purple/blue potatoes

2 tablespoons olive oil

Juice of half a lemon

Salt and pepper

24 ounces Cherub baby tomatoes, left whole

8 ounces goat cheese crumbled

5 or 6 slices bacon, cooked crisp and crumbled

Leaving on the skin, cut the potatoes into bite-size piece and cook in heavily salted, boiling water until fork-tender (15-20 minutes).  When still hot, toss with 2 tablespoons olive oil and lemon juice.  Season, and taste for seasoning. 

Let cool completely then put into a large bowl with tomatoes.

Dressing

lemon herb dressing

Whisk together:

1/2 cup olive oil

1/4 cup mayonnaise

1/4 cup lemon juice

2 tablespoons parsley, chopped

1 tablespoon fresh mint, chopped

1 tablespoon fresh basil, chopped

1/2 teaspoon kosher salt

1/8 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

Refrigerate dressing for at least two hours.

Thirty minutes before service, add dressing to potato/tomato mixture, a little at a time until the vegetables are lightly coated.  Gently mix in goat cheese.  Cover and let sit indoors at room temperature (not outside, where it’s hot, you don’t want a trip to the emergency room for dessert).

Before service, sprinkle the bacon on top.  This way it will still be crispy when eaten.  Serves 8-10.

And if you don’t get it together for the fourth, don’t fret.  This potato salad also works for Bastille Day, on the 14th.  Though, you should probably call it Frere Jacques potato salad.

Thanks for your time.

Apostate Pasta

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So a couple weeks ago a French website posted a recipe for carbonara and all of Italy lost their collective mind.

France, why do you want to piss this guy off?

The procedure called for the whole thing to be boiled altogether in one pot.  And while I’m a fan of the odd one-pot pasta, carbonara should not be trifled with in such a manner.

Boiled pancetta?  Really?

The classic recipe is extremely simple with just four ingredients: spaghetti, pancetta, eggs, and Parmesan cheese.

But simple, especially in the case of carbonara, absolutely does not mean easy.  It’s far easier to botch it and end up with a greasy congealed tangle of noodles that look more like a punishment than dinner.

As appetizing as a letter from the IRS.

What can go wrong: Over, or undercook the spaghetti.  You can burn, or conversely fail to render the pancetta and have limp, fatty pork.  And the most problematic of all are the eggs.  If the heat is too high, or you don’t stir briskly enough, you get scrambled eggs.  And if you do stir with enough vigor it’s possible to not have the now broken pasta hot enough to cook the eggs.

It is a dance that’s potentially dangerous enough to strike fear in the heart of the very finest dancing “celebrity”.

But done right?  Done right it’s a song sung by Freddy Mercury or Billie Holiday.  It’s a landscape by Ansel Adams, a shoe by Louboutin, a dress by Coco Chanel all rolled up into one creamy, unctuous, heart-breakingly delicious bowl of pasta.

See how that sauce clings like a bad boyfriend?  That’s what I’m talking about.

My advice from the trenches is to have every bit of your prep done before you turn on burner one.  If you’re not ready every step of the way, the whole thing will get away from you, and that way lies madness and scrambled disappointment.  Take your time—be the master of your culinary domain, and don’t let the food dictate your actions and state of mind.  You have to commit; you’re cooking something that’s a little advanced; don’t be tentative.

Attitude is half the battle.

My recipe has a healthy serving of attitude.  I had some beautiful fresh angel hair pasta and decided that it really needed to be used for carbonara.  But I had bacon, and not pancetta.  I was also very low on Parmesan, but had a nice big piece of aged Manchego, which is very hard and dry like Parm.

So I made an executive decision.  But purists might take issue with it.

Blasphemous Carbonara

carbonara

9 ounces long pasta

4 or 5 slices bacon, cut into 1/4-inch strips

3 extra large eggs or 3 large + 1 large yolk

1/4 cup Manchego cheese, grated fine, plus more for garnishing

Salt and pepper to taste

1 cup pasta water, reserved

Place eggs and cheese into bowl, season, and whisk until well-mixed.

In a large pot, cook pasta until al dente in heavily salted water.

In a separate large pan, render bacon.  Remove and set aside.  Pour off bacon fat until 2 tablespoons are left.  Turn pan down to low.

Remove cooked pasta from pot with tongs, reserving water. Place directly into pot with bacon fat.  Toss until well-coated.

Take pot off heat and slowly pour in egg mixture while constantly, vigorously, stirring pasta.  When it’s all added, continue stirring until egg mixture is heated and emulsified.  Briefly place pot back over a low burner if more heat is needed to thicken (sauce should be the consistency of heavy cream).  If it just looks like raw beaten eggs, it needs more gentle heat.  If it seems a little tight, add in abit of pasta water.

Place into two bowls and garnish with the bacon and more cheese.

Serves 2.

If the idea of this pasta dish appeals to you, I really hope you try making it.

And it’s entirely possible that you’ll screw it up the first time.  It’s probably wise to have a dinner backup plan that night, just in case.

But I’m telling you, getting this right has a huge payoff.

Not only do you get to enjoy what is arguably one of Italy’s finest gifts to mankind (even taking into account Ancient Rome and the Renaissance), you’ll have the thrill of being the kitchen swashbuckler who had the chops to put this ambrosia on the table.  You are fierce.

 

Fierce, I tells ya.

Thanks for your time.